IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:
Another day, another offer wasting my time, energy and resources:
Hello Aimee,
I stumbled on your website while trolling through Craigslist looking at video/tv jobs. I laughed my ass off.
I was so intrigued by what you were doing. Everything from cleaning apartments to giving lectures on self-promotion. It really spoke to me in a strange way and I just thought you'd be perfect for a project of mine.
If possible, whenever you have some free time, I'd love to set up a meeting and discuss it. Feel free to write me here, or give me a call at 514 xxx-xxxx.
Hope to hear back from you.
Iron
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Hey Iron,
I'm happy to provide a laugh or two! :D
What project did you have in mind?
Take care,
Aimee
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Hi Aimee,
The actual project I have in mind is kind of tricky to explain, but I really think I would benefit from meeting you... I could only hope the same would stand for you.
Check out my website to learn more about me.
www.IronMakesMusic.com
Would want to just share some ideas with you if you have any time. You can also give me a call if you want (514) xxx-xxxx.
Iron
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Iron,
Been very busy. You call me...
(514) 472-0185
Aimee.
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Iron calls. A well-spoken Iron tells me he is a "lovable loser" and a down-on-his-luck creative who needs someone to help find him a job. I tell him my consulting fee is $150 per hour, but seeing as he has little resources, I'd come up with a better rate for him and meet with him this week. My reply:
Hi Ian,
I would be willing to consult for you for 2 hours for $100. I'll
interview you and film it, as well. We can meet at a coffee shop
somewhere on Parc, like the Second Cup on Milton and Parc.
Do you have any social media accounts? Please forward me the links if you do.
Aimee
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His [bangs head on desk] reply:
Hi Aimee,
I'm going to be quite honest... if I pay you for consulting I'm throwing away money (which I don't even have). I realize it's the quickest and easiest way for you to make money, but I assure you I will get nothing from it. Help helps, advice doesn't. Believe me, I've heard it all before. I'm open to ideas but I came to you because I thought that what I saw on 100 jobs for 100 dollars was something different and not just the same old thing. You wouldn't believe how many family members and friends have come to me and said, "why don't you try this..." as if I'd never thought of it before.
I need to make money, not give it away for the same old song and dance, so you'd need to see this as an investment because if you can actually help me I'd give you way more than $100 - but you'd have to believe in my profitability. Believe me, I've met plenty of, and understand, the people who are like, "why should I help this guy" and then just see what they can get out of me. I really believe they're missing the big picture.
I'm not looking to get rich or exploit your services and as great as "self-marketing" is, I firmly believe people work better in teams and that two heads are better than one.
Here's my counter offer:
A) For any contract you secure for me (for any type of work) - I'd give you 25% every time (I would have to approve the work). A quick calculation would be: you secure a contract for me to, for example, record and produce a three-song demo for an emerging Montreal artist for $450 (which is what I'd charge if I found them myself) you'd make $112.50 every time.
B) If you manage to generate a lead or get me in the door with someone, or some company, that is willing to employ me full-time for my services as a salaried employee, under the understanding that "my services" means exploiting my talents (i.e - not paying me to do phone surveys, or chop chickens) - I would give you 7.5% of my wages for 6 months. So, another quick calculation, if I make a decent starting salary, say 35K per annum, thereby generating approx. $2000 net income per month, you would get $150 per month for 6 months, or approx. $900.
The one major caveat, however, is... you would HAVE TO be willing to meet with me, and talk to me, and get to know me for free. In no way am I paying anything up front (it's just too easy to walk away).
Iron
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[rolls eyes]
My reply:
Ian,
I appreciate your offer, but I do not have time for meetings that do not involve tangible business arrangements. I would be helping you in consulting for you; I could help design a real strategy for your business, open the appropriate accounts and teach you how to navigate them.
If you cannot make the initial investment (which includes a promotional video of yourself!), then I am sorry but I will need to decline your offer.
My best,
Aimee Davison
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Hi Aimee,
Again, I just want to point out that I have met with countless career counselors (including Emplois Quebec and Youth Employment Services) and have invested $20000 doing exactly what you describe below - please, dear God, don't talk about initial investment. It really is time to try something new. I have tried to provide you with real hard numbers - something consultants rarely, if ever, do - and if you have a counter offer, or want to negotiate for more money, I am listening. But you are making the mistake that everyone does that: I am just starting out, I don't know, haven't tried that, or haven't heard or thought of that.
Maybe no one has come to you asking for real help before, I don't know... but I need REAL help. If you can't help, believe me I understand - I've heard it all before.
Best of luck getting to 100 I know you'll get there soon - I got there long time ago (did it for free though, kinda why I'm here).
Iron
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My final reply [please read it with a tired old snarl]:
Iron,
I don't volunteer my professional knowledge.
Best of luck with your future projects,
Aimee
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A lesson I've learned while completing this project is that if little financial details are offered up front in any business meeting, the resulting interactions or arrangements will usually have little monetary value.
Serious clients commit to a budget.
I recently devised a policy that I will not meet with a potential video client more than once, because I have encountered situations where I volunteer my knowledge and ideas and get no return on the investment of my time.
Iron is taking a far too personal and needy approach to business that is a losing proposition for a busy professional seeking legitimate paid contracts.
Sorry I couldn't help you, Iron, but I need to invest my time and energy elsewhere. I am not a volunteer and no one can save your professional life but yourself.
IN JOBS FOR YOU:
After the Iron exchange, maybe I should apply for this:
Ladies are you stressed out and angry looking for an outlet? (NYC )
Date: 2011-05-23, 10:36AM EDT
Reply to:
gigs-zwve9-2397454476@craigslist.org
If you are stressed out and have pent up anger and would like an outlet, this is the opportunity for you.
Reply with a photo and contact number so we can discuss this
- Location: NYC
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
- Compensation: $50 plus
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Wait a second, Iron, I think you should apply even if you're a guy! Looks like the man is willing to pay you to commiserate!
The Internet helps those who help themselves,
Aimee