31 May, 2011

Shaky Accusations, Job 91 and 92

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

In what can only be described as a seismologists's worst nightmare, seven Italian seismologists are being charged with manslaughter for failing to predict a 2009 quake that killed 308 Italians, even though there is no scientific method to accurately predict the onset of an earthquake.

From the article:


"It has a medieval flavor to it -- like witches are being put on trial," the stunned spokesman told FoxNews.com.

Enzo Boschi, the president of Italy's National Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology (INGV), will face trial along with six other scientists and technicians, after failing to predict the future and the impending disaster.

Earthquakes are, of course, nearly impossible to predict, seismologists say. In fact, according to the website for the USGS, no major quake has ever been predicted successfully. 

I hope that the United Nations will intervene on behalf of a violation of human rights should the scientists be convicted of failing to be godlike in their prediction of what most insurance companies would deem "an act of God" - a natural disaster that is impossible to predict and outside of human control or responsibility.

IN OTHER JOBS:

I have just been booked for Job 91 and am set to complete Job 92 this afternoon!

For Job 91, my friend, actor, stand-in expert and improv teacher Ben Hauck is getting me to copy edit his upcoming book on improv and also film a video review.  His book has required years of research and study; I'm honoured to edit the first draft.

For Job 92, Dan, the man who hired me to act as a mime during his romantic marriage proposal, bought the raw video footage of Job 62, and is paying for my labour to transfer all of the files to him.  His friend will be making a wedding video for him and I'd love to see the final result if Dan uploads the story of his love to the web!

Off to upload,


Aimee

30 May, 2011

Selling FashionAmbush.com

IN OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU:


FashionAmbush.com - $5000 (Anywhere)


Date: 2011-05-30, 12:14PM EDT
Reply to: sale-h84cf-2410670794@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Hello,

I am a web producer who several years ago launched a multi-platform web series called Fashion Ambush that I now want to sell. I own Fashion Ambush on Vimeo, YouTube, Twitter, Flickr, Facebook and the domain FashionAmbush.com The price includes the outright purchase of all accounts.

FashionAmbush could be repurposed for a fashion blogger, a haul vlogger, a street style specialist or a BeyondTheRack.com style fashion e-commerce site who is smartly looking to get into sponsored entertainment for social media advertising purposes.

My best,

Aimee Davison
(514) 472-0185

  • Location: Anywhere
  • it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
--

I am trying to sell FashionAmbush.com and all its social media accounts for $5000.

If the account package sells, I will consider the transaction the sale of my first web start-up and list it as a job. I will also file the sale under putting the past behind me. I'm ready to move on to new projects.


Aimee

28 May, 2011

Store Buyout

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

My friend and collaborator Kyle MacDonald has a new, semi-mysterious project where he goes into random stores and buys everything out. Here is Store Buyout's first episode:


I wonder what they are going to do next? I also wonder if the convenience store had to rush replace everything to stay in business! I hope the store owner's margins were good enough that he actually profited nicely from selling out his store temporarily.


Aimee.

26 May, 2011

NuMuYOU


About a week ago, I sent out a call to my past employers (I'm up to 90 of them!) to promote their products and services in my Products section, in exchange for an affiliate commission.  

Although the term affiliate marketing brings to my mind a horde of desperate pyramid scheming MLMers wearing taupe polyester suits, affiliate marketing programs are a legitimate way to generate revenue from a successful blog. If I'm preaching You-commerce, I need to explore all avenues of audience monetization and relay those lessons to YOU!

Clifford from NuMuBu.com wrote me back, and if you sign up to NuMuBu.com and credit aimee.davison@gmail.com as the member who referred you, I get a buck!  That means only 100 of you have to sign up for me to call affiliate marketing a job!

By the way, I am only 10 goals (and one e-book ;) shy of my One Hundred Jobs goal.  I am going to auction off my 100th job and I should be releasing more information about where you can bid next week!


Aimee

25 May, 2011

Pecs for Pics and Vixen for Views

IN JOBS FOR YOU THAT REQUIRE 100 PUSH-UPS FOR SINGLE MODELS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:

Ad should read: Co-dependent Trainer Seeks Victim.

Female model wanted


Date: 2011-05-25, 10:26AM EDT
Reply to: see below


I'm looking for a female model for my boot camp and personal training website

Will trade my bootcamp and personal training services for pics for my site

Must be in shape!!!

send stats and pics


  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: trade
--

Wait a sec... if the model is already in shape, why would she need the free services of a personal trainer?

How many crunches you want to bet that this guy is also looking for a date?

And seriously, employers, if you need to hire a professional model, please ask for photos NOT pics. *shudders*

Speaking of thinly veiled model dating invitations with zero pay:


Need an outgoing model for a youtube video


Date: 2011-05-25, 4:33AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-jubgg-2401374164@craigslist.org


I need a good looking girl for a youtube video...

This will not be x-rated (seeing as how it is for youtube)

I just need someone who is animated, loves music, and has a "girl next door" kind of look.

There is HIGH potential for this video to go viral, so it should also be someone who would want to be seen by lots of people.

Thanks and hope to hear from the right girl soon;)

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay
--

I love how this guy says the video will not be x-rated, ostensibly BECAUSE it's for YouTube, not because his "original concept" (lolperv) wasn't somewhat x-rated to begin with.

By the way, claiming something has a high potential to go viral is like claiming you can predict the end of the world, ye Harold Campings!

As for the ;)


-->.-'"'-.
  / `. ,' \
 |  ,' `.  |
 |   ___   |
  \ ( . ) /
   '-.:.-'
     .:.
     :::          
     :::
     ::.
     '::
      '
Aimee

24 May, 2011

Job 69: LOLpervs.com

Ray is one of the top hosts on YouTube because he is a witty content curator.
No woman has ascended to his level, yet.

I have been working all morning customizing a Tumblr theme for my newest web project, LOLpervs.com. The tagline: They perv; we lol. I'm looking at you, George the Spanker!

If you've been following my blog for a while, you'll know that at the beginning of my project, the onslaught of sexually charged job offers inspired me to create the "lolpervs" label for creepy yet funny Craigslist employers. I bought the LOLpervs.com domain about 6 months ago and I finally feel ready to launch my project. It fits nicely in the empty slot for Job 69, because AdultServicez.com did not work out (but maybe LOLpervs.com will enable that tongue-in-cheek* venture!).

*lolpervs!

My goal with Job 69 is to take a cue from Ray William Johnson and release weekly review videos of the funniest pervy content on the web; think: perv fails. My YouTube channel is called LOLpervs, and I'm also lolpervs on Twitter.

As to not confuse my yoghurt, cleaning products and Special K commercial modelling clients, my stage and pen name for LOLpervs is... Daisee Dukes!  I still don't know whether or not to buy a wig and super short shorts... yet. ;)


Aimee

23 May, 2011

Jebus Saves; I Charge $100

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:

Another day, another offer wasting my time, energy and resources:

Hello Aimee,


I stumbled on your website while trolling through Craigslist looking at video/tv jobs. I laughed my ass off.


I was so intrigued by what you were doing. Everything from cleaning apartments to giving lectures on self-promotion. It really spoke to me in a strange way and I just thought you'd be perfect for a project of mine.


If possible, whenever you have some free time, I'd love to set up a meeting and discuss it. Feel free to write me here, or give me a call at 514 xxx-xxxx.


Hope to hear back from you.


Iron
--

Hey Iron,

I'm happy to provide a laugh or two!  :D

What project did you have in mind?

Take care,

Aimee
--


Hi Aimee,


The actual project I have in mind is kind of tricky to explain, but I really think I would benefit from meeting you... I could only hope the same would stand for you.


Check out my website to learn more about me.


www.IronMakesMusic.com


Would want to just share some ideas with you if you have any time. You can also give me a call if you want (514) xxx-xxxx.


Iron
--
Iron,

Been very busy.  You call me...

(514) 472-0185

Aimee.
--

Iron calls.  A well-spoken Iron tells me he is a "lovable loser" and a down-on-his-luck creative who needs someone to help find him a job.  I tell him my consulting fee is $150 per hour, but seeing as he has little resources, I'd come up with a better rate for him and meet with him this week.  My reply:

Hi Ian,

I would be willing to consult for you for 2 hours for $100.  I'll
interview you and film it, as well.  We can meet at a coffee shop
somewhere on Parc, like the Second Cup on Milton and Parc.

Do you have any social media accounts?  Please forward me the links if you do.

Aimee
--

His [bangs head on desk] reply:

Hi Aimee,


I'm going to be quite honest... if I pay you for consulting I'm throwing away money (which I don't even have). I realize it's the quickest and easiest way for you to make money, but I assure you I will get nothing from it. Help helps, advice doesn't. Believe me, I've heard it all before. I'm open to ideas but I came to you because I thought that what I saw on 100 jobs for 100 dollars was something different and not just the same old thing. You wouldn't believe how many family members and friends have come to me and said, "why don't you try this..." as if I'd never thought of it before.


I need to make money, not give it away for the same old song and dance, so you'd need to see this as an investment because if you can actually help me I'd give you way more than $100 - but you'd have to believe in my profitability. Believe me, I've met plenty of, and understand, the people who are like, "why should I help this guy" and then just see what they can get out of me. I really believe they're missing the big picture.


I'm not looking to get rich or exploit your services and as great as "self-marketing" is, I firmly believe people work better in teams and that two heads are better than one.


Here's my counter offer:


A) For any contract you secure for me (for any type of work) - I'd give you 25% every time (I would have to approve the work). A quick calculation would be: you secure a contract for me to, for example, record and produce a three-song demo for an emerging Montreal artist for $450 (which is what I'd charge if I found them myself) you'd make $112.50 every time.


B) If you manage to generate a lead or get me in the door with someone, or some company, that is willing to employ me full-time for my services as a salaried employee, under the understanding that "my services" means exploiting my talents (i.e - not paying me to do phone surveys, or chop chickens) - I would give you 7.5% of my wages for 6 months. So, another quick calculation, if I make a decent starting salary, say 35K per annum, thereby generating approx. $2000 net income per month, you would get $150 per month for 6 months, or approx. $900.


The one major caveat, however, is... you would HAVE TO be willing to meet with me, and talk to me, and get to know me for free. In no way am I paying anything up front (it's just too easy to walk away).


Iron
--

[rolls eyes]

My reply:

Ian,

I appreciate your offer, but I do not have time for meetings that do not involve tangible business arrangements. I would be helping you in consulting for you; I could help design a real strategy for your business, open the appropriate accounts and teach you how to navigate them.

If you cannot make the initial investment (which includes a promotional video of yourself!), then I am sorry but I will need to decline your offer.

My best,

Aimee Davison
--

Hi Aimee,


Again, I just want to point out that I have met with countless career counselors (including Emplois Quebec and Youth Employment Services) and have invested $20000 doing exactly what you describe below - please, dear God, don't talk about initial investment. It really is time to try something new. I have tried to provide you with real hard numbers - something consultants rarely, if ever, do - and if you have a counter offer, or want to negotiate for more money, I am listening. But you are making the mistake that everyone does that: I am just starting out, I don't know, haven't tried that, or haven't heard or thought of that.


Maybe no one has come to you asking for real help before, I don't know... but I need REAL help. If you can't help, believe me I understand - I've heard it all before.


Best of luck getting to 100 I know you'll get there soon - I got there long time ago (did it for free though, kinda why I'm here).


Iron
--

My final reply [please read it with a tired old snarl]:

Iron,

I don't volunteer my professional knowledge.

Best of luck with your future projects,

Aimee
--

A lesson I've learned while completing this project is that if little financial details are offered up front in any business meeting, the resulting interactions or arrangements will usually have little monetary value.  Serious clients commit to a budget.

I recently devised a policy that I will not meet with a potential video client more than once, because I have encountered situations where I volunteer my knowledge and ideas and get no return on the investment of my time.

Iron is taking a far too personal and needy approach to business that is a losing proposition for a busy professional seeking legitimate paid contracts.

Sorry I couldn't help you, Iron, but I need to invest my time and energy elsewhere.  I am not a volunteer and no one can save your professional life but yourself.

IN JOBS FOR YOU:

After the Iron exchange, maybe I should apply for this:

Ladies are you stressed out and angry looking for an outlet? (NYC )


Date: 2011-05-23, 10:36AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-zwve9-2397454476@craigslist.org


If you are stressed out and have pent up anger and would like an outlet, this is the opportunity for you.

Reply with a photo and contact number so we can discuss this
  • Location: NYC
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: $50 plus
--

Wait a second, Iron, I think you should apply even if you're a guy!  Looks like the man is willing to pay you to commiserate!

The Internet helps those who help themselves,


Aimee

20 May, 2011

Can a Woman be Sexy and Powerful?

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

Ask Madonna if a woman can be sexy and powerful.

The Atlantic just published an opinion piece on the near absence of female political sex scandals.  The author of the piece, Lane Wallace, argues that women in power are perceived as less sexy and thus have less opportunity to partake in political sex scandals; she writes, "[W]e don't see competence and power as sexy in a woman. If anything, they're threatening. When I bought my current airplane 12 years ago, (a simple, four-seat, single engine model), a male friend of mine congratulated me on the purchase, but then added, "You know, Lane, this is not exactly going to help your love life."

Although I cannot speak for the sexual appetites of heterosexual men, from the female perspective, I think less sexual transgressions are committed by women not because they are less attractive mates, but because sexual intercourse confers on women a stronger emotional attachment, which could result in more psychological duress should the affair not work out. I think that a woman in power would be more likely to avoid romantic or sexual situations that could become emotional liabilities.  I know I have avoided tempting exciting trysts on the basis of self-protection.

Likewise, I think there may be a difference in public reporting between male and female lovers. A male partner of a prominent woman may be less likely to brag about his conquest, as little social rewards are given to men who sleep with a public figure compared to the attention lavished on porn stars who brag about their hook-ups with married stars.

I also call into question Lane's assertion that, "women in positions of power are also still far more concerned with being taken seriously than being seen as sexually attractive individuals." Madonna, Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Oprah are all women with substantial economic and social clout who very carefully manage the physical image of their brand and delight in the interplay of their sexual attractiveness, liberation, power and success.


Aimee

19 May, 2011

Soul Searching with Todd Plesco

Here's my interview with the man who bought my soul, ex-Marine, closet Mensa member and information security specialist, Todd Plesco:


Do you think our personal data our online soul?  Is our digital life powered by our digital soul?


Aimee

18 May, 2011

Downward Facing Dog

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:

Today's job scum is a toss up between this:

Laughing yoga models wanted (Montreal)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-05-15, 11:15AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-bgywv-2382230681@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a Laughing fetish and I'm seeking attractive models to do Laughing yoga for me while I watch. I'm 35 and caucasian and really fun to be with. I have Laughing recordings on both CD and tape I can bring and you have to host. Laughing is the best medicine. I'm excited to hear from you

•Location: Montreal
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
•Compensation: 150
--

And this:

Re: Dog Nanny Needed (Scamville?) (Scam)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date : 2011-05-18, 12:29PM EDT
Répondre à : comm-y6qxw-2388397121@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think it's a scam. I responded to a similar ad asking for a dog sitter. When I asked what it entailed, they said sleepovers at their house.

•Location: Scam
•PostingID: 2388397121
--

Pick your poison: downward facing dog or...

downward facing dog.

Bonus points for this video originating from Crapville.com

I'm happy boo boo boo boo booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,


Aimee

17 May, 2011

Job 88: $elling My $oul

IN OTHER JOBS:

Bored out of my skull, Trying to kick it up a notch, I posted this ad yesterday afternoon on Toronto Craigslist:

My Soul for $100 (Anywhere)


Date: 2011-05-16, 2:01PM EDT
Reply to:


Hello! My name is Aimee Davison and I am currently completing 100 Jobs for a minimum of $100 each. I'm up to Job 88 and I'd like to close my project with a bang so I am selling my soul for $100.00. Yes, you heard that right.

What do you get from the deal besides my soul? You get a video interview with me, a blog post, social media marketing on multiple platforms, a place in my book and Internet history.

My paypal: Onehundredjobs1 AT gmail com

Please buy it fast before the Devil gets a hold of it!

Aimee
http://www.onehundredjobs.ca/

  • Location: Anywhere
  • it's ok to contact this poster if you are a potential employer or other principal
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job seeker.
  • it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2384453436
--

Next, here's what went down on Twitter via Storify:





Within 3 hours, I was sent this notification from Paypal:

Subject: $100 for your soul!

Todd Plesco sent you $100.00 USD


Hello Aimee Davison,

Just thought you'd like to know Todd Plesco sent you $100.00 USD.

Note from Todd Plesco:
Contact me at todd.plesco@infosecurity.pro for the exchange of your soul. Thanks !
--

Holy Internet$! My $oul $old $uper fa$t, FT$!

I should forward this story to the guy who wanted to be paid to shave his head.  If only he would have offered to $ell his $oul on Craigslist, he might have made 100 bone$!

Of course, we all know Todd Plesco wasn't actually buying my $oul; Todd is a micro-sponsor buying the social media publicity and marketing that my project provide$, future $ponsor$ please take note.

To ensure that the sale of my soul did not entail any legal liabilities, I sent Todd this follow-up e-mail:

Hello Todd,

I see you would like to purchase what I have jokingly referred to as
"my soul" for $100.

Before I accept the purchase offer for what I have referred to as "my
soul", I need to make explicitly clear that this transaction is not
contractually binding for anything other than a written credit in my
jobs list on my OneHundredJobs.com blog and a video interview to be
published on YouTube.

Do you agree to my terms? Please reply with the copied body of this
text and your written agreement.

My best,

Aimee Davison
--

Todd's reply:


Hi Aimee,

Thank you for the quick turnaround on the sale of your soul.

May we arrange for the video interview to occur via Skype (since I am in southern California and may not be in the Ontario area until the first week of July?)

I agree to the terms and conditions. 

Best,
Todd Plesco

P.S. What do you think of the link at http://www.holyducttape.com/cronan/soul.html
--

What do I think?  I think you are a smart man who understands micro-sponsorships, Internet culture, social media marketing and you-commerce, Todd, and I can't wait to interview you this week.

$oulle$$ yet $ati$fied,


Onehundredjob$

16 May, 2011

The New Toil of Social Media Contests

Did Safesolvent and I make it into the finals?  
Nope, we didn't even get a callback.
So much for social media equity.

Do I sound bitter?

Maybe I am bitter.

Yeah, I'm bitter.

Remember when you used to be able to enter a contest with your name and your telephone number?  In the era of social media marketing, a simple contest entry seems as quaint as a handwritten thank-you note.

I love having new opportunities to test and market my hosting and video production skills, but entering contests seems to be an increasingly laborious task involving complex challenges, submissions and lobbying for votes or likes, which often winds up uncompensated when the contest closes, leaving the entrant disappointed with the challenge and the brand.


I question the reach of many video contests; of the few I've followed online, many have amassed only a few dozen entries: Lise Watier's Beauty and Dance Contest had less than ten entries, L'Oreal's V-Moment Mascara competition closed with poor ratings, a few dozen entries and a fizzle, Dove is currently buying YouTube views for its Singing in the Rain/ insulting to "real women" commercial and Yellow Pages just launched a laughable finger dancing contest.

As evidenced in the lack of entries, many contests wind up crowdsourcing free labour for the brand, yet offer terrible marketing ROI and little satisfaction for the non-winning entrants.  Will we soon see a decline in interactive contests if the participation data doesn't support the cost of interactive initiatives?

A possible solution: if running a content contest is a necessity, brands should compensate all entries with a reasonable consolation prize, as in the case of the Dynamite haul vlogging contest, who sent me a $25 Dynamite gift certificate for my time.  The best contest marketing offers reciprocal rewards and manages disappointment for being judged out of a contest.


Aimee

12 May, 2011

De$perate $ponsored $have

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:


*eyeroll*

willing to shave his head for $ (Montreal)


Date: 2011-05-11, 1:44PM EDT
Reply to: comm-gccpk-2375108712@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


I really need a haircut...and I need the money...so I'm offering to get my head shaved for cash...

let me know

  • Location: Montreal
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2375108712
--

The only time this "pay me to do something crazy to my body" publicity stunt is interesting when it's either a feminine girl with long, beautiful hair who is actually losing something shocking to our culture (feminine beauty) by doing the stunt*, or if it's a permanent tattoo of a corporate logo.

I'd pay the dude $100 to get a 100 Jobs tattoo, just so you know.

*You can be a woman and beautiful with a shaved head, just so you don't think I'm not down with Amber Rose, Sinead O'Connor or Demi Moore.

IN JOBS FOR YOU:

Jigsaw casting and Tourism Toronto is looking for actors for a gay themed webseries. Apply here, especially if you are a woman with a shaved head (they want their female lead to be athletic and have short hair).

And if you are still hankering for head $having humor:


Buzz buzz,


Aimee

11 May, 2011

Diamonds Are Forever.

True wuv...

Job 87 was a success! Becky won her wedding photos from Two Mann Tent Photography!

Big thanks to everyone who voted because YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GREAT SEX within four days of reading this blog post, provided you send it on. Since the copy must tour the world, you must make ten copies and send them to others. This is no joke. Send no money. Send copies to people who need to GET LAID within 96 hours.

And mazel tov.

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:

I'll let you spy on my Facebook for this one:


I need to turn down the bitch, but $175 to host web videos for a DIAMOND company ... GTFO, seriously. I hate the small time.
about an hour ago ·  ·  · 

  • Peter J.  likes this.

    • Aimee Davison Had it with the small time. HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
      about an hour ago ·  ·  2 people

    • S time to turn it up a notch, to bring it to the next level.
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison Of course... but cheap clients will always exist.
      about an hour ago · 

    • S as long as people are ready to sell themselves short.
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison The company is stupid. If they want a spokesmodel, why would they be so cheap? Shouldn't they want their spokesmodel to be happy and represent the richness of the brand?
      about an hour ago ·  ·  1 person

    • S It's funny too because I see you as a diamond, watch or expensive purse spokesmodel.
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison I don't even want an exorbitant rate per day... they would never quote that rate to a modelling agency because the agency would hang up on them.
      about an hour ago · 

    • S well... maybe as an *hourly* rate...
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison EXACTLY.
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison The cheaper the client, typically the nastier the experience.
      about an hour ago ·  ·  3 people

    • Peter J. One more reason to not purchase diamonds ; )
      about an hour ago ·  ·  1 person

    • S that's what she sa... Yes, it has also been my experience as freelancing graphic designer.
      about an hour ago · 

    • J did you counter offer?
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison I sure did, John, and she couldn't get off the phone fast enough.
      about an hour ago ·  ·  1 person

    • Aimee Davison Also: people who don't counter offer when someone asks for more money are weak.
      about an hour ago · 

    • N I bet it's [CENSORED] Be careful, because even at that ridiculous rate, you are not even sure they are going to pay you. Friends have had bad experience with that company before. Be careful if it's them...
      about an hour ago · 

    • Aimee Davison Ha! It sure is, N.
      30 minutes ago · 


Moral: show your love with money.

The truth comes out on social media, brands,


Aimee