100 Jobs Playlist

I spent all morning organizing my 100 Jobs videos into a well-ordered playlist, per the kind suggestion of Jesse Herbert of Oopsmark.ca. I also added a "Video" tab to my blog for easy access to a chronological playlist of my past completed jobs.

I have plans for my final videos to be on par with the best that YouTube has to offer. I now aspire to more than low budget vlogging; I bought a new camera and I want to produce entertaining videos to the much higher level of skill that I acquired in completing this project.

I want to be epic,


Aimee

Peen Position

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

You think this job interview was awkward...

Do you like the peen?  I mean, who doesn't like the peen?  Men like their peens, straight women like peens and gay dudes love gay peen. Lesbians usually don't like the peen, but sometimes they like peen shaped objects, right?  If you are a frigid old fogie who is like WTF, CLICK HERE FOR THE PEEN MEME.

Collector's item via Zazzle.ca

Ad reprinted in its entirety, with my peen pen edits bolded in RED.

Marketing Specialist w/Adobe/HTML (Montreal)

---

Date: 2011-03-30, 11:48AM EDT
Reply to: job-w3az6-2295139699@craigslist.org

---

In House Position, Montreal Large Adult/Mainstream Entertainment Internet Company is needing a Marketing Specialist for their ADULT-GAY-PEEN Programs

Must exhibit a strong willingness to learn and absorb new information about peen; comfortable with multi-tasking peen and meeting deadlines in a fast-paced peen-friendly environment
An acute interest in multi-media peen, peen product design, social media peen and the latest online trends in peen are essential.
Exemplary English written and oral peen communication skills are a must. French peen is an asset.

Product Marketing Specialist serves as the creative architect for the product's entire life cycle -- from conception :o to completion (!) -- and he is responsible for ensuring optimal sales results as well as long term growth of the products. ;) 

He combines sales, marketing and technical skills in order to design, promote and sell several peen products. He is comfortable in an inter-disciplinary role ;), interacting with many levels of the organization (crack to sack to head and back) and reports directly to the Master Peen Product Director.

Responsibilities:

Peen Project Planning: 

Analysis of market trends, competitors and marketing forecasts FOR PEEN
Development of product strategy and roadmaps FOR PEEN
Delivery of MRDs, initial design concepts 8====D and wireframes (ouch) FOR PEEN
Development of core positioning and product messaging ;) :) :p FOR PEEEEEEEEEEN
Creative hands on direction during product development

Product Management: 

Development of peen product launch strategy for peen customers, peen affiliates and peen business partners
Training of customer service and sales team at monthly product meetings. Lesson plan: peen.
External muli-peen product promotion (press, social media, email marketing, user promotions: peen, peen, peen, peen and, you guessed it, MOAR PEEN!)

Qualifications:

2-4 years experience in peen product management, online marketing or e-commerce;  e-peen specialist
Excellent analytic skills with numbers and various statistic concepts (length, girth, width, beauty, tonal hue, juiciness, stamina, virility)
Demonstrated success defining and launching Internet or media products about pee-peen!
Advanced knowledge of Adobe Creative Suite (bloat tool an asset), HTML and online marketing applications (spam peen mail excluded)
Educational background in Peen Business, Peen Communications, Peen Design or Peen General Arts an asset
Proven communication, organizational and time management skills even if there is a constant onslaught of peen. 
Ability to work both independently, as a team player, and in a leadership position FOR AND WITH GREAT BIG PEENS!

• Location: Montreal
• Compensation: Salary and Benefits and PEEN!
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2295139699
--

Please excuse me for the evening; I have to go and take a cold shower,


Aimee

IcietHere.com Guest Post

IN OTHER JOBS:

This article is reprinted in its entirety from IcietHere.com, a 52 week blog by Faitici.com about the interplay of food and life in Montreal.

‘Ex’iting The Republic of Soccer Moms
Aimee Davison

Editor’s note:

This is the 19th post on Ici et here. Our blogger this week is Aimee Davison. In any city, moving from one neighbourhood to another brings new discoveries. The food-based ones are usually among the funnest. Today, Aimee talks about a move she made from the suburbs. Though a resident of TMR she has fallen in love with the diverse food-scape of Park Extension – one of MTL’s more interesting hoods.

————————————————————————–

My exodus from the West Island of Montreal in 2009 was an escape from an average, safe, unchallenging life; I felt stifled by suburban sprawl, franchises, chain stores and a lukewarm relationship with a long-term love. I wanted the exotic.

I swapped the Republic of Soccer Mom for an upscale apartment in the heart of the Town of Mont-Royal. TMR boasts luxurious mansions, manicured lawns, impeccable parks, curious traffic circles, and constant security surveillance, making you hold your breath as if you are visiting a beautiful, guarded, English museum. Unlike the cloistered West Island, however, TMR borders the culturally rich neighborhood of Park Ex, a wonderful multicultural hotbed of affordable international cuisine. My new home extended the best of multiple worlds.

On Jean Talon, just east of Acadie Boulevard, there are dozens of exceptional, authentic Greek, Indian and Vietnamese restaurants, many of which are rated close to 100% on UrbanSpoon.com

I stumbled upon Lyla, a delicious bring your own wine Vietnamese restaurant located at 405 Jean Talon West, when I was walking home from Parc Metro Station. I glanced into a storefront window and was enchanted by a freshly served, gorgeous, fried noodle bowl, bursting with colorful grilled vegetables. I slipped inside, took a seat in the spacious dining room, admired the illuminated ceiling painted like a happy sky and ordered the $9 dish, cementing my new love of Park Ex cuisine.

Maison Indian Curry on 996 Jean Talon West is another exemplary find. Their Indian thalis, which are small portions of medium hot curries, rice and Nan bread served on rectangular stainless steel trays, are exciting, spicy, and filling, and a steal at $8 or less. The small, family owned and operated restaurant is so popular that there are frequently line-ups outside every day of the week.

If you are seeking an escape from whitewashed neighborhoods, uninspired rotisseries, fast food flops and the impresarios of the Old Port, visit the restaurants of Park Ex to expand your palate and indulge in international exuberance.

I heart spice and flavour,


Aimee

Call me Vanksy

JOB QUIZ!

What do all of these gorgeous machines have in common?

Tires.

And this:

SEEKING "SPRAY PAINT" TALENT ( GMA)

---

Date: 2011-03-25, 5:36PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-cfrvd-2286474374@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

DONT WASTE THAT PAINT ON THE WALLS!!!.....


Hi! ... I got a Chevy Van that I would like to paint in maybe 2 or 3 different colors ...So Im looking for someone with creative ideas and some TALENT/ EXPERIENCE with spray*paint design creativeness.

please contact me if you think you can help!...

NOTE~~ I may be willing to pay a small wage if its (your idea) .... to my liking.

thanks!

Tony.

• Location: GMA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: TBD

--

Tony,

My idea will not only be to your liking, but it will make a name for myself in a new art movement that I call "Van Pimpism", Banksy be warned!  When I am finished, you will have to obtain a class AC licence for ART COLLECTOR.  Genius.

Aimee

$10 000 Bribe for a Bride

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY?

Portrait of a dashing ironic hipster by Toby Burditt.
Hugh Grant would be proud.

I found out about desperate, 40something, lovelorn, childless ad man Chas from a Tracy Clark-Flory piece on Salon.com.  Chas wants to offer a bribe for a bride: he will award $10 000 to the person who finds him a wife. 

Attractively designed and professionally packaged, Chas' web project is catchy, clever, just controversial enough and perfectly capitalizes on the marketing potential of social networks (though he still needs to open a Twitter account and a blog).  Given the good positioning of his timely project, I am certain he will find what he is looking for, whatever that actually is (companionship, love, sex, attention, a book deal, a speaking career, a movie, a reality show, fulfilling a secret sponsorship agreement, free Axe bodyspray, you know, sh*t that I want!).

Will I help him on his quest (and count it as Job.... 69?!?)?  I think I am too cynical to pimp out single friends Bachelorette style to a stranger with enough boyish good looks to allow him to stay comfortably single for 40 years and enough ego to think that the love of a good woman can be crowd sourced for 10 grand. 

Speaking of which, I told the booty shaking boys that "I'd do it for $10 000, but I don't think you can afford me" to which they replied, "You're right, I can't afford to pay you $10 000. Good luck with your project." And good luck with yours too, Chas!


Aimee

Job 69: Rump Revisited

Originally, I wanted to launch an adult themed classifieds site called AdultServicez.com for Job 69.  To date, I have had zero paid ads placed, but equally I have done zero marketing for the project.

Therefore, I am considering replacing Job 69 with another sexy job.  On Saturday, I came across this ad on Craigslist:

NEED BOOTY SHAKER (Montreal)

---

Date: 2011-03-20, 11:27PM EDT
Reply to: job-5bdan-2276940685@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

Need dancer with genuine booty shaking ability for video shoot ASAP. You MUST have a bubble butt in order to qualify and be comfortable dancing in a thong. Please do not answer unless your booty has a legitimate spherical quality and a keen sense of rhythm.

Your face will NOT be used, only your ass and legs. This video will be converted into cartoon format for a music video so worries about privacy are unwarranted.

Please answer ASAP

• Location: Montreal
• Compensation: Cash for one hour, negotiable, having your ass immortalized through art
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

--

My reply:

Hello,

I am applying for your job because the job post is well written, I am
intrigued by it and I could include it in my project.

How much does the job pay?

I have very fair skin; does that matter?

Aimee
www.modelmayhem.com/aimeedavison
--

Their reply:

Hey Aimee!

Thanks for the quick response! Fair skin is no problem, what's important is that you have the aforementioned "bubble butt" and can perform what's colloquially known as a "booty shake", and variations thereof. This is really important because we are going to trace the outline of said booty for a music video that has a rapidly approaching deadline. In other words, we don't have time to fake the contours of your butt, so a perfect butt is needed. I looked at your modelmayhem profile but didn't see any shots of you from behind: is there anything you can send my way?

The pay is $50 per hour for two hours, so you'd be looking at $100 (which I think works into your project). The added benefit would be having your butt immortalized in a completely over-the-top music video.

Tell me what you think,
Fraser

--

My reply:

Fraser,

The rate is too low for arse nudity. [Editor's note: and for a perfect butt!]

Can you send a picture of the perfect butt so I know if I have it? (in
all seriousness... not as a joke)

Do you want jiggle or no jiggle? Like a tight bubble butt or a jiggle to it?

Aimee
--

Hey Aimee,

We could move the pay up to $100 for an hour and fifteen minutes.

Jiggle is ideal. Please excuse the crudeness of this .gif file, but take note of the kind of jiggle we're looking for:

NSFW!

http://h6img.com/p/1/naomi-ass-jiggle.gif

Here's an example of a girl with a smaller bubble butt, but whose inspired movements more than make up for it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug9fee0QKgw

Here's an example of when inspired dancing meets ideal jiggle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPT7ffQIHfE

Thanks, and hope to hear from you soon,

Fraser

--

Fraser,

The rate is still too low to go low low low low.

A
--

Hey Aimee,

What about $100 for 50 minutes? Do you still think you qualify based on the videos I sent you?

F

--

Fraser,

I do, but it's not about time, it's about money. I can't do a booty
shaking vid for $100... wayyyyy too low.


Aimee
--

Hey Aimee,

What would be an acceptable rate?

F

--

So how much should I charge if I decide to do a second booty shaking video for an over the top music video?  How much is a bare @ss worth?  Essay length answers preferred.


Aimee

Blind Job Items and Forcing Facebook Likes

IN BLIND JOB ITEMS:

I would not draw such a steep curve 
for a personal valuation of 24 billion. 
LOL

I just completed Job 85 with no effort at all by creating and broadcasting original content for 556 days.

I finally made over $100 from a large Internet company by "displaying some of their content on my content."  I cannot talk about this company because it may result in the withholding of my payment.  What a strange dynamic: I am paid to show but not to tell; their user behaviour business model depends on my silent compliance. 

To pass the $100 threshold, it took a video I produced that now has 75 000 views, another with several thousand, and content on a half dozen websites.  That means I made 0.18 cents a day to produce and distribute my content!

Moral of the story:  Content creation is usually worth more in personal advertising dollars and public perception of brand value than in direct "display of content" revenue. 

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

BDSocialMedia

Tom Fishburne released another great cartoon on the marketing machinations (and potential abuses) of Facebook fan pages and likes.  We have all been increasingly inundated with requests to like products, brands and things on Facebook, typically for the benefit of the solicitor, though what exact benefit our like provides is extremely debatable and case specific.

Just how manipulative are products and brands willing to go to accumulate likes (however false or temporary)?  I entered a dairy product (milk) contest called MonaMania over the weekend that will award money to the winner of a draw based on the number of likes its Facebook fan page achieves.  As all should be fair in free marketing exchanges, I wrote on their wall, "I only like you because you might give me moooooooooney! Like OneHundredJobs on Facebook for more vache."

I still have not amassed the 1000 fans that Cheryl was going to award me $100 for Job 28, precisely because I don't want to harass people (which is my same objection for video contests that depend on bugging your friends, family and entire e-mail list for votes).  I want quality fans who like and follow my work and not to amass a falsely bloated count of followers (even if it would definitely make me even more attractive to sponsors).

I do, however, appreciate the sense of humor of the ad agency who came up with the name monomania and its unintentional irony in its obsessive purchasing of fans for a product most of us will consume, regardless of advertising spectacles or liking it on Facebook.


Aimee

Selling Self-Broadcasting Solutions

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

About a week ago, this annoyingly catchy professional amateur video by aspiring teen pop star Rebecca Black went viral:

Friday, Friday, brain fa-arrrrt.

Journalist Russell Smith wrote a piece in The Globe and Mail, "How to be an instant Internet superstar – for a fee", about Rebecca's rapid ascent to internet stardom.  Smith reveals that Rebecca's success is a result of paying for production and internet promotion by Los Angeles-based Ark Music Factory, an agency that also represents many young teenaged girls with dreams of pop stardom.

Self-publishing platforms have become the shortest route to fame; the genesis of "Friday" indicates that outsourcing the production of personalized content is often worth the investment.

Ark Music Factory should consider a name change to Ark Media Factory because selling packaged self-broadcasting and social media marketing solutions is a viable business model.  My you-commerce theory (the promotion and monetization of one's talents via self-broadcasting, self-publishing and social media platforms) and its execution can be outsourced, evidently.

Just in time for Friday, for 1 cent in electricity, I created my own a cappella version of Black's autotuned ditty:

... of course I'm not the only one:

Berry big decisions!

And there's Saturday:

He never blinks!

Would you pay for self-promotional media like a YouTube video or high quality photo for your online presence?  Do you think it would help you to generate more revenue?

New media producers such as myself would love to acquire more clients in need of social media ready content.


Aimee

Loyalty

IN AMAZING JOBS:

Learn more about the since rescued puppy pair at ElephantJournal.com.

Aimee

Nuclear Jobs

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY?

I've been following the tragic events in Japan since the earthquake and, as a result of the deeply troubling nuclear reactor crisis, I have been educating myself about nuclear power.

The design of a common nuclear reactor:

AlJazeera explains the safety systems in the Fukushima reactors and what may have gone wrong:

However, despite finding abundant information about nuclear plant design, I realized that very little reporting is done on jobs in the nuclear industry, even though demand is increasing for workers and in many cases exceeds supply.

I also discovered professional resources for nuclear workers, such as the American Nuclear Society, Center for Energy Workforce Development, Women in Nuclear and the North American Young Generation in Nuclear, including the job boards NukeWorker.com and Cool Hand Nuke, ostensibly named to poke fun at fear mongering against the complex nuclear energy industry.

I fully respect and the brave workers who work closely with radioactive material, who mine for uranium or manufacture the uranium pellet fuel for nuclear reactors.  I would not be selfless enough to assume the small lifetime increase in risk of developing cancer or fully able to trust he occupational safety standards of my employer, no matter how stringent or regulated, because, as the Japan crisis has demonstrated, nuclear energy production is not without risk.

The continued dedication of the 50 Fukushima Daiishi nuclear plant workers is a testament to the high level of integrity inherent in industry workers. They are in my thoughts tonight.


Aimee

P.S. On a lighter note, the 65th anniversary corporate video on the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission website is so goofy that it's worth watching; it's hokey, dated in tone and feel, but also has laughably overproduced computer animation and sound effects.

Work Left to Do

...but it's not for me?

Image via http://nl.toonpool.com/

On Tuesday, after being headhunted on Twitter, I interviewed for and was pretty much offered a full time position at a large web company. I fit the job description perfectly; I would have been working with and eventually managing a team who would produce and implement multi-platform social media strategies in large corporations. Every ounce of social media knowledge that I have amassed over the last year and a half while completing One Hundred Jobs and Yellow Page Mountain would have been put into use.  I would have been given a good salary, stock options and benefits.

Instead of being overjoyed, I felt extremely conflicted over the last couple of days while trying to figure out if I should take the job, what I want in the long term and who I am, fundamentally, as a worker.

Being a self-employed web and new media production entrepreneur hasn't been easy. I have completed ambitious projects with micro teams, micro budgets and macro effort. I have worked time and a half for a year and a half. I have zero paid vacations, no health or dental benefits, and to possess the necessary capital to fund my projects, I live very frugally: I rent an apartment, go out only on the weekends, and I take the bus. My greatest expenditures have been on the software, training and technology that powers my new media productions.  Like Penelope Trunk asserted in her Inc.com article, I haven’t been pursuing the entrepreneurial path because it is comfortable, but because I possess the compulsive, burning, relentless desire to turn my ideas into revenue generating projects.  Somewhat unintentionally, I have eschewed tradition and comfort for independence and innovation.  So far, it's been effective and my profits have steadily increased.

Despite this knowledge, the siren song of corporate stability and the culturally acceptable narrative of full time employment for someone else's business tempted and tortured me all week. Why not switch over to a stable income and predictable schedule? Why not learn what it's like to work in someone else's organization, with their rules, policies, safeguards and benefits? Why not witness how major accounts are negotiated, built and managed? Why not become a fully rounded potential employee? Why not reduce my personal financial risk and cash in on the professional value that I built through independence?

During my second interview, the vice president of the company who wanted to hire me answered my questions very elegantly today; paraphrased, he said, “It sounds like you have unfinished business. You still have work left to do and it would be a shame if you did not finish it. The world needs to be punctuated by people like you who live creatively, challenge authority, innovate and instigate change for the greater good.  Keep going and I'll be following you.”

I thanked him and turned down the third full-time job offer I've been extended in the last two months.  My next job is to become even better at what I've already been doing and create financially profitable structures that enable me to do so.


Aimee

What Made Tiddalik Laugh

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

I'll be using this myth for inspiration in the upcoming weeks:

Related: if you think you're too small to make a difference, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room, ESPECIALLY if the mosquito is wearing a silly hat and a clown nose,


Aimee

Hack Cough Sneeze Fail

I've come down with Spring fever and not the fun kind.

I'll be back when my H1N1 clears up,


Aimee

Pretty on the Job

What do you mean I can't go to work like this?
100Jobs naked-faced at her home office: 
"the cuisine".

Guess who gets to give her own video make-up tutorial for an awesome make-up brand?  Me!

Marcelle cosmetics officially hired me today for Job 84: producing and starring in a make-up video tutorial of a beautiful look for work.

I kind of look like Marie-Ève Nadeau... RIGHT?!???!??!!??!??

Marcelle already has some pretty make-up tutorials on their official YouTube channel:

A great look for going out on a Saturday night, but not for work!

I'm going to create a more natural look: a humorous, down-to-earth tutorial for the 9-5 set.

Here are inspiring examples of make-up tutorials from the YT:

Michelle Phan always creates stunning lessons.


Good to know.  Also applies on the job.

I think she looks quite beautiful at the end... just not for corporate America.

Sorry, James, a look I will not be imitating before cutting loose at my next 5 à 7.


I'm a new fan. Gloria is hilarious and NSFW.

I can't wait until my shipment of Marcelle arrives!

Aimee

Parody of a Parody

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

I must be psychic this week because a celebrity perfume parody video just went viral; Jimmy Fallon produced a video of a fictitious Charlie Sheen scent called, you guessed it, "Winning":

Charlie Sheen: 'Winning' For Men (3/2/11)

In related news, Charlie has become a parody of himself.

IN OTHER JOBS:

I spent all afternoon editing my son's fourth Epic Meal Time parody video, though this time he was also inspired by another Epic Meal Time parody, Swedish Meal Time.

Finally, I think I'm going to apply for this musical because I am not going to star in one by singing alone in front of my webcam and Twitter bombing my performances (OR AM I?):

Actors, Actresses, Singers Wanted! (St.Laurent/Rachel)

---

Date: 2011-03-02, 1:14AM EST
Reply to: job-ttndv-2242309046@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

FRINGE 2011 MUSICAL NOW CASTING!

Montreal production company, Psychic Puppy Productions is casting the musical, BETWEEN GOSSIP & DREAMS.

AUDITIONS BEGIN MARCH 6TH at 4:15 PM.
Do you have acting experience?
Are you between the ages of 21 & 39?

5 Male actors needed:
1 black male singing role
3 Caucasian male singing roles
1 Caucasian male non-singing role

3 Female actors needed:
2 caucasian female singing roles
1 caucasian female non-singing role

Rehearsals will begin in April on The Plateau. We have been selected for a large venue at the Fringe Festival.
We have a June run with at least 6 performances. All actors will be paid a portion of the gate.
For more details, send your headshot and a resumé OR a description of your relevant acting/singing experience stating your interest.
The play is a 75-minute ensemble piece. Send your acting friends our way - they will thank you.
Don't sit on the sidelines. Make an artistic statement and learn your craft!

Clint Earle
Casting Director
Psychic Puppy Productions

• Location: St.Laurent/Rachel
• Compensation: The Cast will receive a large portion of the gate. Probably more than $325 for each cast member.
• This is a part-time job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

--

Enjoy your weekend, winners!


Aimee

Make Your Own Perfume

Want to know how to create and market your own celebrity perfume like the unlikely parfumier Alan Cumming?

Here are some tips:

1.  Being famous helps:  According to CosmeticsDesign.com, "manufacturers [...] [err] on the side of caution and are less likely to launch scents under new names."  Products like perfume are driven by popularity because fans want to buy into the image and lifestyle of the celebrities whose perfumes they wear. According to The New York Times, when you create a fragrance from scratch, you need to build the persona, image and aspirational qualities of your perfume to create a demand.

2.  If you aren't famous, you need to market your scent like crazy:  Most big name perfumes hire a celebrity like Natalie Portman to represent the image of their scent, but if you want to create your own eponymous perfume, you will need to use clever marketing tactics to push your perfume.  Like Alan Cumming, I am going to start with a hilarious YouTube video to launch my perfume.

3.  Find a manufacturer for your scent: Getting your perfume made seems to be the trickiest part of the fragrance equation.  Sites like CompagnieParento.com and ScentDesign.net can be contacted for the production of a custom scent, PerfumeShrine.com is a valuable resource for perfume reviews and ingredient inspiration, and e-how.com has a series of articles about perfume production online.  I tried to contact Cody.com, which is one of the largest manufacturers of celebrity perfumes, to see if they will also manufacture for small businesses.

4.  Offer healthy commissions to drive sales: The E-how.com article "How to create your own custom perfume line" suggests using Avon's commissioned sales business model as  a low cost distribution model.  Also, offering your scent to retailers at no cost in exchange for a large cut of the sales will help to get your product on store shelves.

5.  If you can make the scent eclipse your personal brand you will profit long term: As quoted in The New York Times, "Once a fragrance becomes a classic, that's when the profitability comes in," said Mr. Bousquet-Chavanne of Estée Lauder.  Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds has been an Elizabeth Arden best seller since it was released in 1991 and Jennifer Lopez's fragrances, including Glow, have made more than $250 million in sales. 

What notes would you include in your perfume?  Apparently, Lady Gaga may be releasing a blood and semen scented concoction.  Fresh, frightening or consistent marketing?

My perfume should be made of blood, sweat and tears :D,


Aimee

M is for Merchandise

In an effort to maintain my sanity, I took a moddafawking break today (here's why you should too) and went to the Carrefour Laval Mall.

While perusing The Bay, I found Madonna's mediocre Material Girl collection and it got my gears turning about a potentially epic 100 Jobs project that I've wanted to launch for awhile.

I just *know* you'd buy a 100Jobs see-thru bandeau boob top.

Sorry, Madge, a lot of your clothing looks cheap.

I want to try celebrity merchandising.  If you can have the Kiss casket, Trump steaks, Ed Hardy "WIN"e and "Come 2 Night" Canadian crooner coochie spray, why not purchase, market, distribute and sell my own celebrity perfume, shoes, grill, salad dressing, thongs and dongs?  I would love to create a populist celebrity fashion empire like billionaire Jessica Simpson.

I might not be a celebrity, but I'll work my way backwards.  100 Jobs chicken of the sea, people!  Chicken-of-the-sea.

Any tips on how to get started?

I'll start researching how to launch my own perfume tomorrow.  It has to be cheap.  Otherwise, Paris Hilton would never have done it.

Enh? ENH?

IN OTHER JOBS:

I FINALLY picked up the infamous horrible Magenta Photo Studio photos from me and Tara Hunt's otherwise lovely Girl's Day Out (you can purchase our package too!) with Laval Tourism.  I will remind you that this is how the young woman at Magenta Photo Studio made us pose:

#facepalm and #crotchconnection

So.very.bad. Unflattering pelvis pose.

I find it funny that when I google "Magenta Photo Studio Laval" you get my damning critique listed on the first page of results.  That's some pretty dreadful SEO for the studio.

Magenta never offered us any other photos, printed or digital, to rectify our awful experience.  Good thing I have my precious pelvis pump photo as compensation.


Aimee

Committed

It's March break for my son this week, so I decided to review a little chick lit while he's on vacation at home:

Y RLY,

Aimee