31 January, 2011

Ignite

I'm busy wrestling with colour palettes, Powerpoint slides, my cluttered creative mind and prepping for my talk on February 8, 2011 at the Montreal Ignite festival.  Here's a neat little video about how to give an Ignite talk from a Seattle Ignite event:

He is using the font I chose for my presentation without me knowing before watching this tonight. 

Any tips on how to give a turbo charged talk?


Aimee

28 January, 2011

OxyMORON

Let's play a Friday mind game!


IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:

Spot the oxyMORON:

Montreal's Premiere Luxury Magazine is looking for FREElance writer (Montreal, QC)


Date: 2011-01-28, 8:33PM EST
Reply to: gigs-3phtr-2185855229@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Montreal's Premiere Luxury Magazine is looking for FREElance writers.
We have over 300,000 regular affluent readers. You can choose to write a 350 word article on any "luxury themes."
There is no pay at the moment but you will get great visibility and added credibility. Thank you.


  • Location: Montreal, QC
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay
--

Did you spot the oxyMORON?  Is it:

A) Jumbo shrimp

B) Like rain on your wedding day

C) Regular affluent cheap bastards

D) Champagne taste on a beer budget


If you answered A, please meet me at Red Lobster for my second shift; seafood pays for my writing CAREER.


Aimee

P.S.  The rich sometimes get rich by being cheap?

P.P.S.  For you word nerds, care of Wikipedia: Oxymorons are not always a pair of words; they can also be devised in the meaning of sentences or phrases.  Oddly appropriate!

27 January, 2011

Adventures in Candy Land!

I decided to release Max's newest Epic Meal Time fan video today, which is exactly one month after we launched his first video.  "Candy Land Hell" is weeks in the making and it feels good to launch it tonight.  I always marvel at how much time it takes me to edit a 3 minute piece; I probably spent a good 20 hours putting this together:


Powdered candy will make you sneeze,


Aimee

P.S. IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:  The Cosmo blog article, care of Yahoo's oft stupid Shine"6 Words That Get You What You Want" was the biggest waste of a click all week and possesses the most annoying and intrusive list of related articles, ever.  Their recommended magic phrase to get a raise: "I'm willing to make a long-term commitment to help this company grow to new levels of success." Psychic bosses and hyperbole, FTRaise!  Bleh.

26 January, 2011

The Sponsorship Scale

Tasty 25¢

I completed Job 77 today, which was providing social media consulting to Allstar Vending. If you love bubble gum, laser pointers, dress up girls and cool capsule toys, follow Allstar on Twitter or find them on Facebook.

Also, if you want a neat way to make side income, contact Allstar to find out how to become a bulk vending representative.  You place the machines in various businesses and then spilt the proceeds with the establishment!  The start up cost is minimal and the repeat business a reliable source of passive income.

Plus, who wouldn't want to have unlimited access to black winner gumballs.  I'm just sayin'!

IN OTHER JOBS:

After several weeks and multiple days of shooting, I finally finished Max's second Epic Meal Time fan video.  The production quality is higher than the first and I think the video is hilarious and fun!

Given the success of his first video, I would love to have a sponsor come on board.

I have been itching to disclose this for a while: I devised a pricing scale, called "The Sponsorship Scale" for those small to medium sized businesses who want to advertise on low budget user generated web videos (or series) that they believe are good vehicles for their brand messaging and advertising.

The sponsorship scale is pay per view scale where the price caps after 250 000 views.  The old advertising standard on television was a CPM of $30 per 1000 views, but my scale functions differently. As the view count of the video increases, the CPM scales DOWN for the advertiser.

To "buy in" to sponsor a post roll ad on a video is $200 (some consideration for content creator's initial expenses), and scales up to $400 at 10 000 views, $800 at  25 000 views, $1000 at 50 000 views, $1500 at 100 000 views and is capped at $2000 per 250 000 views, which is an $8.00 CPM that could scale down even further for extremely popular content.

If the video fares poorly, the sponsor is not penalized, but if the traffic is high, the sponsor is rewarded for buying into the video.  Evidently, a contract would be signed for a series of videos.

What do you think of my scale?











Aimee.

25 January, 2011

Advice From Queen Jobs

I was interviewed by journalist Laura Roberts for WritingforDollars.com.  Here is a repost of the article in full:

Writing Tips from a Social Media Queen

by Laura Roberts

Aimee Davison is a Montreal-based web producer, social media marketer, model and actor. At first glance, you may wonder how she could possibly help you further your writing career. But guess what? She's full of surprises.

Back in 2009, Davison was an out-of-work model and actor stuck cleaning people's houses to make ends meet, and after another day of underpaid housework inspiration struck. She decided to start a blog called One Hundred Jobs to reignite her career and make more money by taking on a wider variety of jobs for a minimum payment of $100 per day. Little did she know that her vast array of skills—from public speaking to Photoshopping abilities—would lead to a completely new career in social media consulting.

Davison is candid about her project's monetary success, noting that although she originally chose a starting point of $100 a day in order to get her foot in the door, she currently commands a salary of $85/hour for her consulting services or $2,500 minimum to produce short web videos. As such, her main piece of advice for writers is to stop undervaluing their work.

“I know that competition is stiff, but you need to know and set your own worth or people will take advantage of you financially,” she says. “It's not because they are evil, mean or don't care about you, but because everyone loves to get a deal.”

In a world where writing mills pay writers as little as $5 per article, Davison's advice rings true. If writers do not value their own time and worth as service providers, why should the companies that employ them?

Davison also notes that while valuing your own skill set may mean saying no to certain offers that would otherwise put food on your table, setting a fair precedent that will pay off long-term is ultimately more important than making fast cash.

“Do you want to be known as the $10 freelancer?” she asks. “Would you put that on your business card? If no, stop accepting a pittance and pursue bigger clients with better professional standards.”

This advice holds true for writers as small business owners, particularly as they advance in their careers, and Davison recommends continuing to branch out in order to generate more revenue. She suggests writers launch their own blogging businesses to become recognized as specialists in areas of interest, attracting readers and monetizing their content by running contests, featuring sponsored content or by selling related products to their audience, in much the same way that Funds For Writers operates.
Alternately, she advocates beginning a project such as her own 100 Jobs, chronicling your individual experiences and building your business as you go, while persisting at a specific—and exciting—challenge.

“If you have a unique vision, discipline and commitment, you will see a financial return on your time investment,” she says, “and [you can] adjust your business model to become more profitable as you grow.”

If you're interested in learning more about Aimee or her blog, you can find her online at http://www.onehundredjobs.ca. She encourages others to start their own versions of the 100 Jobs challenge, and welcomes links to new projects based on this theme.

© 2011 by Laura Roberts
Laura Roberts is currently wrangling words for her first novel, Naked Montreal, set in the Sin City of the North. She also edits the literary rebellion Black Heart Magazine and can be found tweeting up a storm @originaloflaura.

24 January, 2011

Winter Wimps and Whiners


OMG OMG OMG!  It's cold, eh, eh, eh?  Do YOU think it's cold?  OMG it's cold!  COOOLLLLDD! BRRRRRRRR...  I wish I lived in Florida, Texas, Buenos Aires, China, Egypt, or on a sinking island in Dubai!!! 

Just in case you are tired of hearing from winter wimps and whiners (of which I am included), here something to warm you up from the inside: a newly released edit of my adorable mime marriage proposal video, with music by Oopsmark.ca:

YouTube disabled the original audio because Bruno Mars is a giant druggie diva.

If you didn't get a post proposal glow that can withstand an escape from the office wailers into -30 °C, here's an article detailing how to deal with whiners at work.

As for how to deal with wimps: show them these beautiful snow photographs and coo to them about the beauty and wonder of nature while providing assertiveness training, a mug of hot chocolate and a trendy Canada Goose parka.  Or do this while playing that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, here's how to deal with worst case winter weather worries, you weirdos:


Warm and worry-free,


Aimee

21 January, 2011

Che Gevalt

That would be my gams with the cherries...

I've been working on this project behind the scenes for awhile, but I'd like to announce my role as film producer for an independent feature length film called, "Che Gevalt", for Job 79.  Here's the film's synopsis (Think: "The Hangover" meets "40 Year Old Virgin"):

Film synopsis: Che Gevalt

Robbie, a wimpy, freshly dumped, Jewish funeral parlor attendant, becomes a cougar-magnet overnight after he takes over the act of a local mariachi he's accidentally burnt to death. One night, while delighting in the proclivities of one of his fans, our newfangled phenomenon is confronted with something his background never quite prepared him for: the jealous, hot-blooded Latin lover. Robbie manages to escape death, survive his fumbling friends, kill his former boss and get back the girl he lost. 

My duties will involve all aspects of financing, casting, and getting the film to the silver screen (distribution).  Already, we've held auditions for our lead, Robbie, and we are trying to cast several YouTube stars in supporting roles.  It's very time consuming, but I really believe in the project.  I may also be starring in a small supporting role, as well! (in a coffin! :)

I'll  also put this out there: we are actively looking for investors and we have a business plan written by the same woman who created one for the indie hit, "The Blair Witch Project".

Let me know if you'd like to invest or audition and have a great weekend,


Aimee

20 January, 2011

Fail Week

It must be fail week because Job 79 suddenly turned into a "JOB THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY".

O_O -WTFAIL!

Without going into too much detail, you know the moment in any exchange like a negotiation, an interview, or a first date when you sense that maximum fail occurs?

It kind of sounds like this:


Mixed with a little this:


Features this soundtrack:


And ends like this video from 1:42 onward:


The only thing you can do in maximum fail moments is to silently acknowledge the complete collapse of win, use I statements to excuse yourself (without any blame or shame!) and move along little doggy, move along:


IN OTHER JOBS:

Appropriately, MakeYourGirlfriendHappy.com just released the video I edited and they called it,"Boyfriend Epic Fail":


So is a dude like that a fail or a win?

Personally, compared to some other dudes, homeboy looks like Saint Cajetan to me.


Aimee

19 January, 2011

2 Jobs: $50

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:


2 Jobs, $50!


couple for erotic scene in student film (Plateau)


Date: 2011-01-19, 2:04AM EST
Reply to: gigs-qvvgj-2168076181@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


We are two third year Concordia students who are producing a short film for the Art Matters student-art festival. We are looking for two adult 'actors' who are willing to perform a short erotic scene in our film. We will be paying 50$ each (negotiable) for this service. Let it be clear that this is a professional and tasteful endeavour and the film will not end up on the internet or be sold. If you wish your faces can be omitted. A couple would be preferred and we are open to actors of any sexual orientation. Let it be noted that if you alone apply without a partner you'll recent proof that you are STI clean. But more about that after you respond. We'll be shooting on a weekend in February.
Please respond with: Your name, your age, your sexual orientation and a photo if you wish.

http://artmattersfestival.com/


  • Location: Plateau
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: $50 (negotiable)
--

Lessons learned:

1.  If I steal my boyfriend's pay, I can call this gig a job.

2.  If I can prove I am STI free, I can get paid to get laid!

3.  The Internet is NOT tasteful.

--

Suivant!  Next!

Hôtesses (2) pour événement VIP - 27 janvier (Montreal)


Date: 2011-01-19, 6:08PM EST
Reply to: gigs-aehwx-2169446081@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Compagnie reconnue dans son domaine est présentement à la recherche de 2 jolies serveuses pour un événement VIP privé qui aura lieu dans un grand club du centre-ville de Montréal, jeudi le 27 janvier prochain. Les heures de travail sont de 21h00 à 0h00 et l’habillement sera fourni. La tâche consiste à accueillir chacun des invités avec un cocktail de bienvenue.

La rémunération est de 50$ pour la soirée.

Merci de bien vouloir nous faire parvenir votre candidature accompagnée d'une photo plein pieds d'ici vendredi 21 janvier.

  • Location: Montreal
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: 50
--

Translation:  Company that is well-known in its industry is looking for 2 pretty waitresses to hand out cocktails and welcome guests at a VIP private party at a large club in downtown Montreal from 9-12 p.m.  Compensation: $50.  Please send applications and a head-to-toe photo.

1.  Companies who are well-known in their industry like to brag about it ON THE INTERNET* and throw lavish parties for very important people hosted by women they find ON THE INTERNET*.

2.  Being pretty is worth $12.50 an hour.  However, being pretty to a VIP member could be worth much, much more ON THE INTERNET*.

*Tasteless,


Aimee

18 January, 2011

It's HER Job?!?!?!?!?!?!?

IN JOBS THAT SHOULD JUST GO AWAY:

Today, after meetings with several clients, I briefly window-shopped in Montreal's Centre Eaton shopping mall and found this nasty t-shirt at Bauhaus Jeans:

FYI: serving you with divorce papers is also her job.

I'm legitimately shocked that a company owned by Foxy Jeans, which manufactures women's apparel, would approve this design, sign their name on it and distribute it.  Also, who would be ignorant enough wear it and think that women would find it attractive or funny?  

As Erica Ehm from YummyMummyClub.ca pointed out on Twitter, "Who do they want to buy this product? Certainly not women, or men with wives."

Some of the reactions to the "crapparel" from my Twitter feed:
  1. Marjorie's ClosetMarjoriesCloset 
    wow 2011 hein RT @onehundredjobs: Job fail: I found ths awful shirt @ a store called Bauhaus Jeans @ Centre Eaton 2day;http://bit.ly/dOLFXC
  2. Erica EhmYummyMummyClub 
    @onehundredjobs Who do they want to buy this product. Certainly not women, or men with wives. @bauhausJeans
  3. Felipe (@twtfelipe)twtfelipe 
    @onehundredjobs I agree it'd mostly be interpreted that way. But at least they could defend themselves saying they meant the other way...
  4. Felipe (@twtfelipe)twtfelipe 
    @onehundredjobs No, just "Give it to your wife" 1) Joke on wife = It's your job or 2) Joke on guy = You're too stupid to clean this. No?
  5. Sabrina-Kate Eryoustereoqueenbee  
    @onehundredjobs @twtfelipe @zooniniSeriously. BOO and FOR SHAME.
  6. Felipe (@twtfelipe)twtfelipe 
    @onehundredjobs Yeah. Come on, it's funny. Maybe, I'd have left the "it's her job" part out of it. Then it'd be a joke or either guys/girls.
  7. Felipe (@twtfelipe)twtfelipe 
    This is funny! RT @zoonini RT @onehundredjobs: BOOO. Sexist and degrading to women @Bauhausjeans #failhttp://plixi.com/p/70867561
  8. Shannon Smithcafenoirdesign 
    Who does this to their brand? RT @zoonini RT @onehundredjobs: Sexist and degrading to women @Bauhausjeans #fail http://bit.ly/hWNGrg
  9. Jeffrey Talajicjefftala 
    @onehundredjobs Just as long as my laundry gets done on time!
  10. Sandy SidhuSandySidhu 
    @onehundredjobs seriously lame. I hope it backfires on them.
  11. Jeffrey Talajicjefftala 
    @zoonini @onehundredjobs @Bauhausjeans I will admit, I did giggle at this ;)
  12. Kathryn Presnerzoonini 
    Did we just time-warp back to 1952? RT @onehundredjobs: BOOO. Sexist and degrading to women @Bauhausjeans #fail http://plixi.com/p/70867561
  13. Sandy SidhuSandySidhu 
    @onehundredjobs Dislike!
  14. Carrie MacPhersoneatdrinkbcarrie 
    ick! eek! egads! RT @onehundredjobs: BOOO... Sexist and degrading to women @bauhaus#failhttp://plixi.com/p/70867561

The irony is not lost on me that I'm doing my son's laundry tonight, although I'm doing it because I love him, want to take care of him and not because it's my job.


Aimee