04 July, 2010

Apocalypse Now

Somehow Window's Service Pack 3 mysteriously disappeared from my computer, leaving me Internet Explorer, Paint and Calculator-less. This is either a sign of the apocalypse or proof that I need a Mac. *grumbles*



I just joined Foursquare.com, which is also another sign of the apocalypse.

And finally, several horsemen of the apocalypse showed up on Craigslist this weekend, offering their usual catastrophic jobs:

Sexy Executive Assistant (downtown)

Date: 2010-07-04, 7:46PM EDT
Reply to: smileandlookpretty@craigslist.org


Looking for someone very sexy and very attractive to accompany me to social and business events in Montreal.

I'm an executive here for the summer and work for Sony Pictures Entertainment and basically seek someone who has a nice smile, good people skills and loves to dress up and look hot.  It's a part time summer job.

Please inquire for more info with photos. All expenses and time paid. All you do smile and look pretty.

  • Location: downtown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: neg. 
--

I posted this on Craigslist in response:

Dear Sony Pictures Entertainment Cog,

I wanted to inform you of the error in your recent job posting. The correct spelling of the type of part time executive assistant that you are looking for is Executive ASSistant.

My best,

OneHundredJobs.ca
Compensation offered: ASS

NEXT!

Female Host Needed (Montreal - downtown)


Date: 2010-07-02, 2:03PM EDT
Reply to: Notthatkindofhost@craigslist.org


Arriving in Montreal on the weekend of July 17th.

Looking for a female host to show us around Montreal - some bars and strip clubs

Will arrange for a limo on our end, but want someone who will be able to show us some good hot spots.

--

WELL, if there is a LIMO involved, then OF COURSE I'll take you to all of the strip clubs I have nightmares about frequent as an Executive ASSistant.

NEXT!

And just in case you also feel like crying yourself to sleep tonight, here's the Apoohcalypse:





 Pervs are everywhere, SIGH!  
 (I wish they'd lose THEIR tails!)













Oh Eeyore, NOW I know why you were so depressed all the time,


Aimee

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