Squishy Scenario

Reply to your "Hire me for 100 Jobs: Viral New Media Project!" Ad on Kijiji:

Do you own your own video cam? And would you sell me videos of you squishing stuff in a variety of shoes? $/hr vids

- Pumpkinpie

WOULD I????

You know, depending on what this bloke answers, I'll consider taping myself stepping on something inanimate and mushy for $100. If it's a headless 30 second video of my foot in 5" heels squishing a banana, really, why not?

I'm sure you'd do it.

Yes, you would!

Why not cater to misplaced soft tissue fantasies? I don't discriminate. much.

What else would squish nicely?


A tube of toothpaste.



Lipstick.



A cucumber.

(nice crook)

A sausage.



Wait... I'm detecting a trend here. He wants to watch me make a juicy cucumber explode with my foot. Riiiiigggghhhttt...

This should be a poll.

By the way, the results of my last blog poll, "Would you go nude in a box for Christmas?" indicated that the majority of people (50% or 6 out of 12) would consider going naked in a box for Christmas, as long as there were air holes. I knew you guys were kinky squishers!

The elaborated results of the poll:

T**s in a box? - 1 person (clearly a Dick in a Box fan)

WHAT? - 3 people (mock surprise)

For one hundred dollars, baby. - 2 people (you know mah price!)

Will anyone open the box? - 3 people (Schrodinger's "cat")

Are there air holes? - 6 people (safety first!)

No. Pshaw. - O PEOPLE (wow...)

What are you implying? - 4 people. (well...)

What I neglected to mention was that what I was IMPLYING was that the box in my scenario would be delivered to their current boss, resulting in their immediate dismissal. FAIL, people, SEXY BOX FAIL.

Good thing you can fall back on your career of "Professional Squisher."


Squishy but not naked,


Aimee.