20 10

I guess the most appropriate way to open this post is to say:

HAPPIEST OF NEW YEARS AND THE BEST TO YOU AND YOURS IN 2010!

Top Ten Jobs I want to do in 2010, in no particular order:

1. Aerobics instructor: teach a raunchy aerobics class
2. Construction worker
3. Farmer or a farming job
4. Sous-chef
5. Private investigator
6. Paparazzi
7. Fundraiser at a non-profit
8. Medical technician of some sort
9. Burlesque performer
10. Carnie



Top Ten Jobs I do NOT want to do in 2010, in no particular order:

1. Biohazard technician (or anything to do with blood, guts or used needles)
2. Lion tamer
3. Mortician
4. Ultimate fighting martial artist*
5. Uranium miner
6. Dentist
7. Corporate spy working in precious metals
8. Blackberry mascot
9. Drug mule
10. PROSTITUTE!!!! YAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!


*though G.S.P. can kick my ass anytime. ;)







I'm a girl, what can I say? Wrestle me oh-so-homoerotically, G.S.P.!

Happy New Beers!!!!!


Aimee

Job 26: The List?

Great offer for Job 26, but I'm not in Montreal:

> From: Darren S.
> Subject: Job Offer re: One Hundred Jobs - Job Between the 29-30th Dec
> To: MOI
> Date: Monday, December 28, 2009, 12:33 PM

> Hi Aimee,
> I've been following your blog off and on for a
> couple of months now, and I
> think it's a great idea! I hope you've been having
> fun, and been bringing home
> some dough.
>
> Your adventures will surely make an interesting read if
> you decide to write a
> book (e book or otherwise) when you're done!
>
> So, on to a potential Job for you:
> There is a list I just wrote out today of all the
> things I want to accomplish
> in Montreal before I go back to work in Toronto on the 4th.
>
> I thought to myself:
> "Self, you could really use some help with keeping you
> on track with this list!"
> I logged on to Twitter, and poof! there you were, with a
> post about a job you just did...
>
> So, here is the offer:
> Between the 29th (tomorrow) and the 30th, I would like to
> hire you for 6 hours
> (including a bite to eat and breaks) to help me get things
> done on my list. In
> exchange for your service, I would like to pay you $100.00
> If you are interested and would like to know what is on
> the list (I don't think we could get through the whole list
> in 6 hours, but who knows, I've never
> had someone to help me keep it moving!) Please email me
> back.
> Best wishes,
> Darren

--

Then I wrote:

Hi Darren,

I'm in Calgary right now!!!!

Can I still help?

Aimee

--

Hi Aimee,

lol!!!

You know, I'd like to say yes, but I think this is something that requires your powers of observation. Specifically, to get past my filters of "what to do first, how to do it, and what to do next..."

I get myself into tons of projects, and then get overwhelmed by all of the unfinished work that surrounds me. Each one calls to me, vies for my attention, but ultimately, with a full-time job I have neither the time, nor the energy for most of them.

Sometimes, it's even full-time job just sorting through everything (which would require actually seeing the projects in their various stages of completion) to know what is worth finishing now, and what can be put temporarily (or permanently) back on the shelf. Like now.

Thus enter, (and possibly exit) you! Are you back from Calgary before the 3rd? Ever in Toronto?

Happy Holidays!

Best wishes,

Darren

--

I wrote him back to say that I would be back in Montreal by mid-afternoon on the 2nd. We shall see if I can help him sort through his mysterious list of unfinished projects. I'll be his temporary creative consultant and project manger.

I think I'm good at evaluating ideas, organizing creative priorities and managing project phases. How it usually works for me is that when I get a new idea, usually for a new media project, script or television pilot, I write it down on paper in one or two key lines and stick it on the wall in front of my computer. That way, the ideas are always in front of me when I am working or need to be inspired to work, or move on to a new project. Inevitably, I get through the list of things I have written on my wall, because they torment me until I do something about them, and I find it makes for interesting, intellectual, modern decor in my flat.

Akoha also used a similar post-it note technique to analyze their market research interviews and assess ideas for new directions for Akoha.com. There is something about seeing your ideas in bold, handwritten font that provides instant insight, clears the clutter and strips the excuses away from actualizing the project.

When I get back, I'll take a picture of the scrawl that led to the creation of One Hundred Jobs. I think I have "One Hundred Dollars" written in blue ink on a rectangle of scrap paper stuck to the full-length mirror in my living room.

It's still tormenting me, though. LOL.

This is another cool Post-it idea on RestaurantRefugee.com: Leaving random inspirational post-its for strangers.

Be well and write something brilliant (or just a good idea you've had ticking around in your head) and stick it to your wall tonight to complete by December 31, 2010.

I want you to stick your dreams to the wall and make them happen,


Aimee

Cabin Fever.

I love the holidays and my family gatherings, but I am beginning to feel housebound. Heck, my job yesterday was at home! :D

Sadly, the welding job hasn't gotten back to me and the clock is ticking down in my Calgary stay. :( I'm going to send off another e-mail tonight and if I can't lock it down in the next three days, I guess another welder is going to have to ignite my professional passion!

(Wow, even my jokes are getting lame.)

IN OTHER JOBS:

A few days ago, another Calgary artist wrote to me asking, "how long you here, I might get you to model." Oddly enough, he didn't give his name in his e-mail (nor was it in the sender field), but this photo was attached:

(Face blurred to protect Cowboy's identity. Nipples not blurred for maximum satisfaction.)

After I wrote back that I don't shoot nudes work at a nail salon, he stopped communicating. Go figure!

All bleach and cartoon tatas,


Aimee

Job 25: Art Modeling

Job 25 was perfect for the holidays: working for Stephen Frew as an art model was a fun and relaxing breeze.

We set up camp in my parent's living room near the Christmas tree and shot 177 photos, mainly portraits and 3/4 length shots. Stephen is using the photos as references for his figurative drawings and paintings, so we didn't have to fuss with the holiday decor or furniture in the background. We shot for about three hours and I really like how some turned out.

Here's Job 25 in unedited, unphotoshopped, au naturel, MooMoolicious photos:

First shot of the day.

Just getting started: second snap of the shoot.

I look like I want something in this photo, but I'm not sure what.

Ah yes, I see what I want, and I like what I'm seeing.

I like the exposure on this one. I almost look like Megan Fox. Almost. You can stop laughing.

You can see my feets.

More porcelain skin.

I like the charming man over yonder.

Hello, soldier!

I'm looking at you.

Damn, you's a sexy Beast.

I'm not so sure I like my sweater...

Okay, now I do, but I'm blasted with white light!

They called her mellow yellow.

The gold belt from my fashion shoot with Rob.

Hello, Terry Richardson.

Dramatic far-off look: check.

Feigned despair: check.

Hipster glasses: check.

Lisa Loeb: check.

Moody masquerade: check.

Death by ribbons: check.

My brother gave me the peacock pin for Christmas.

The floor is sexy.

I heart floor time glam.

Sleepy time!

Poised priggishness.

Ponytail pull.

Pretty pearls.

Grecian gestures.

Final image: head bowed.

I actually think resizing the photos just now took a lot more work than my effortless shoot this afternoon. Ha!

I am going to post one of Stephen's drawings or paintings of me as soon as he sends on a scan. He joked that he's going to do a hundred of them.

I seem to have good karma with artists named Stephen... If you can hearken back to my humble beginnings, the artist whose carpet I ripped up for Job 3 was also named Steven, and he was just as great as Mr. Stephen today. Thanks, Stephen!

Enjoy the results of my posing, peeps, and I DESERVE A TIMES SQUARE BILLBOARD TOO, Mr. Anonymous comment poster of "Toast the 100th Post". Yeah, yeah, Aymar's still prettier than me. :p

And to the rest of you: feel free to send me your own art model shots. I'd like to post some dramatic shots of my readers!


Aimee.

Sparks are Flying!

Oh yeah! Got this in my inbox this morning:

From: Andrew B.
Subject: welding shop labourer
1:46 AM (15 hours ago)

Have you ever worked in a welding shop?

--

Andrew,

I have not! It sounds exciting...and a wee bit dangerous.
If you hire me, what would be my job duties?

--

Duties would be:
:Sorting steel
:Cutting material
:Drilling holes
:Sandblasting
:Painting

You can see our work @ www.madeiniron.ca

--

Andrew,

I'd have to make sure my safety was taken care of. I don't want any
missing fingers or broken toes!

Cleaning the shop and sorting steel is doable, painting is doable,
cutting material is less desirable (me and table saws don't mix... too
phobic of knives), drilling holes could be okay, depending on material
and safety.

How many hours would you need me for? I am free December 28-30.

I think your business is fascinating and would love to report on it
for One Hundred Jobs.

Aimee

--

Andrew then wrote me back to tell me that he wasn't sure if the dates worked, but that he'd get back to me. He says he runs a very safe shop, but that I would need steel toed boots. Bring on the hard labor gear, I say! Does this mean I get to wear a welding mask?

Oh how stylin'! I hope it's one of those new decorated helmets that are all the rage in the welding community:

Hot dollar billz, yo.

Check out this fancy wrought iron railing that Andrew's team made:



While wearing this:



Maybe. lol.

* * *

The journalist from the craptastic Chicago Tribune article wrote me back, as well:

Hi Aimee:

Thanks for reading the Tribune and for taking the time to write. It's nice to have such passionate readers.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Sincerely,

Chicago Tribune Reporter

...who by the looks of things is already on vacation!

If she came up with concept for the original article, then it's no surprise she is non-apologetic. She probably would re-gift a diamond necklace for lacking in points.

* * *

Off to celebrate Christmas Eve at a live nativity scene! All these sparks are making me feel illuminated.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE, DARLINGS!!!!!


Aimee

Toast the 100th Post

And this is it, folks: the 100th blog post of One Hundred Jobs.

Painless, wasn't it?

I raise my glass to you, your job, and your continued support as I move forward and hack through 75 more jobs. My goal is to have his whole project wrapped by December 31, 2010.

It'll happen.

* * *

IN JOBS FROM AROUND THE WEB:

1. Business Week reveals its worst holiday article reprint: Executives reveal their worst holiday gifts [Chicago Tribune]:

An excerpt:

James Tyree, CEO of Mesirow Financial: "That's easy. For about 25 years in a row my mother gave me a sweater." Tyree said he has a big neck -- 19 inches -- and, therefore, rarely wears sweaters. "No matter how many times I'd tell her, I'd get a sweater," said Tyree, whose mom has since passed away.

Ed Jacob, CEO of North Side Community Federal Credit Union: "I got six pairs of nylons from a Korean importer when I was a small-business lender at First Chicago about 15 years ago. I thanked him but told him I couldn't accept them. We had a policy that we couldn't accept anything with a value over $20, although I'm not sure they would have exceeded that."

Emilia DiMenco, executive vice president at Harris Bank: "Someone once gave me a fly-fishing pole, complete with a tackle box full of flies. I hate fishing."

Not only is the article dull, awkward (dead mother???), humorless and thankless (so what if you don't fish or wear nylons? Maybe your wife does!), it's downright inappropriate given the current economic meltdown, unemployment rate and well-justified backlash against big executive bonuses.

It hurts to get a peasant present, eh, Mr. CEO?

Business Week and Chicago Tribune: fail. Some people are just happy to get a present at all, this year.

I just wrote the journalist a similarly worded feedback letter. We'll see if she writes back. :D

2. Clever English television doc about The Worst Christmas Jobs in History, featuring real turkey guts:


Watch Worst Holiday Jobs in History in Educational  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

3. Best mall job ever: Sketchy Santa. Kind of like Matt Aymar's gig for his recent Virgin Mobile Sexy Santa Promo. I'd love to be the marketing genius who came up with the idea of a shirtless Santa trolling Toronto office towers with free giant candy canes. Sounds like either a nightmare or the beginning of a really good dream...

* * *

Only a few more days until Job 25! I bought some accessories for the shoot. Stephen is going to snap some pics all around my parent's place. We'll have fun!


Mailing an inappropriate gift to her favorite CEO*,


Aimee.

*me.

Strip Generator!

Cartoons, I mean! Visit StripGenerator.com:


(click on it for the full guffaw)

Took a plane all day and now I'm on vacation in Calgary. I got nothing but Christmas cheer and a need to relax until Job 25.

Enjoy makin' yer own strip, foolz,

Aimee

Christmas Aerobics

The holidays are a time of excess: too many purchases, parties, drinks, nibbles and relatives. So when Christmas comes around and plumps up my arse, I pop in a silly exercise DVD like "Walk Away The Pounds" (which is actually quite fun and you don't need the sound to complete the work out so you can blast your own NSFW HARDCORE TRANCE MUSIC) and work off my bowl full of jelly.

This afternoon, after busting a move at the 2nd mile of my exer-walk, I was inspired: I WANT TO TEACH AN AEROBICS CLASS for an upcoming job! I'm going to choreograph a decent routine (no, not my lame booty shaking dance), rent a studio space, and show up in my Gynad unitard! I will charge $10 per person for the lesson, and guarantee my classmates a fun fitness experience that will forever change them. In a good way.

Moment of nostalgia: I totally used to adore the 90s television broadcast of "It Figures" with Calgarian Charlene Prickett, when I was a teen. I used to work out to this VHS tape in between runs (I was sooooo a long distance runner, yo!):



Those legwarmers are HOT, especially with the nude tights. Though this shot of Prickett takes the...




Prickett and lunge and bend over and lunge and vajajay and luuunnggge,


Aimee

The Pretty Paradox

Stylist Myrtho Clement was kind enough to do a write-up about me in her "Montreal's Fashion, Music and Dreams" blog.

She analyzes my gaze as "soft and contradictorily strong", which I tend to agree with (read: basket case AND business woman). :D. Thanks, Myrtho. My best to you and your blog.

Regarding the comments on my Frisky.com article, I only got two, so I'll address both:

danny braciole
wrote on December 17 2009 @ 11:00 am:
Probably a little easier to get jobs from random strangers when you’re as pretty as her. Not hating, just sayin’.

Rock on girl.

Although I agree it may be easier to get modeling or promotional marketing jobs if you are pretty, beauty is not an all-access card to a high salary.

One of the myths I wanted to dispel in my blog is that all models make a high salary by virtue of being a) agency represented and b) highly attractive. I do not have access to exact dollar amounts, as most talent agencies are private businesses and guard their accounting departments like Fort Knox, but I would venture that the average model working in Montreal makes less than $10 000 a year, or one solid commercial print booking a month (like a Mastercard ad: approximately $2000 with a one year buy-out, less %20% agency fees). Most editorials in Canadian mags like LouLou pay $300 per job if you are lucky. If you're doing REALLY well, you may get 7-9 well-paying bookings a YEAR. Yes, a YEAR.

Outside of the beauty industry, hard work and dedication to your chosen field does pay off. If you go the extra mile in all your tasks, appeal to your supervisor, show up on time, don't take too many sick days, stay out of mucky office politics, and tactically climb the ladder in say, a marketing company, you will likely earn in five years and annual salary that is currently much higher than I am earning in the arts doing what I "love".

If we compile how much money I've made to date on One Hundred Jobs, including pending jobs, I've earned approximately $3000 in three months of job posting and applying, networking, blogging, video editing, and all-out hustling. It's not as easy as you think to convince complete strangers that you are worth $100.00, and even when they do hire you, they know they are frequently hiring you for much less than you are worth. So has being pretty given me ease in employment? Not yet. Opportunities, yes, bankroll, no.

But I'm working on it, one job at a time! One of my hobbies: empire building.

P.S. Being pretty also comes with the cost of being eternally self-conscious, frequently not eating what I want, exercising when I'd rather collapse, spending too much time in front of the mirror plucking, moisturizing, face painting and fussing, dressing up when I would rather wear crappy sweatpants, and self-deprecating myself in social gatherings as to not inspire the ire of competitive females.

I call it the Pretty Paradox: if you are pretty you need to behave as if you are ugly. Some women find the self-confidence of attractive women to be ridiculously threatening, so the beautiful must berate themselves in order to gain acceptance. As I have found: 'tis better to purposely self-hate and minimize one's accomplishments than to have no friends.

I invite discussion about the Pretty Paradox: unfortunately, jealousy is an ugly emotion that the pretty have to deal with constantly. The masculine equivalent of the Pretty Paradox is is being constantly confronted with lust.

I'd rather deal with lust than viciousness. Sigh... hatin' on the hatin'.

jannatu wrote on December 17 2009 @ 11:05 am:
interesting. I wish someone would pay me $200 to watch them masturbate - assuming they didn’t take too long.

Sigh. Everyone has their boundaries. Mine starts when my employer's zipper comes undone.

IN OTHER JOBS:

Abigail commented on my E-bay frustration post that I should sell my vintage on Etsy.com, like she does. You know what: I will! I have tried to sell vintage on Etsy in the past, under Miss Mae Vintage, but was unsuccessful because I didn't market my shop or list enough items. Like all businesses, gaining your reputation as a quality vintage purveyor takes considerable marketing, effort and time. Despite its flaws, I had found that E-bay garners more immediate buyer attention than Etsy, but for the purposes of this blog being an exercise in thoroughly monetizing your skills in the arts, I'll set up my shop again! Thanks, Abigail!


Remember: beauty is in the eye of the cardholder,


Aimee.

Job 24 AND Job 25!

First off, a warm welcome to all my new readers from The Frisky! I'll address some of the comments from my article tomorrow!

After some wheeling and dealing with Michael S. (okay, okay, I just asked him politely), I officially booked Job 24: I will be working as a casting assistant for the short film he is producing. (Okay, okay, I insulted him charmingly)

I spent the first part of my day communicating with him about the logistics of the open casting call. I called multiple locations, discussed prices, and began to look for production assistants to help out the day of the event. If you are studying film or want to get into production, free feel to e-mail me to apply!

Superficially, holding an audition seems like a simple event to plan (and after all the castings I've been to, I'm quite blahsé about them), but it's more complicated than just picking an open space and telling [masochistic] actors to show up [to get rejected].

As we are dealing with many young children in the context of an open casting call, we need to find a safe, large, location with parking and lots of chairs to accommodate the parents. We will likely be holding the casting call in a school early on in the new year. I'll also be posting the breakdown for any interested young actress who would like to audition.

And... for JOB 25, via Calgary Craigslist, a visual artist from Ottawa, Stephen Frew, who is visiting his parents in Calgary over the holidays, is hiring me to pose as an art model while I'm in town. He is going to shoot me in various poses to use as references for his abstract portraits:



AND, IN OTHER JOBS, CUZ I LIKE TO MIX DAT SHIZ UP, I applied for this casting call on Montreal Craigslist:

Female Model Wanted for Montreal Sex Show
Date: 2009-12-18, 10:45 AM

If you are a hot model looking for a ton of exposure, the Salon de l'Amour et de la Seduction is the perfect place for it! Over 40,000 people will attend this major event between January 22nd - 24th, 2010.

We presented at the Everything to do with Sex Show in Toronto and are looking to do the same in Montreal. We require a sexy Model/Sales Girl for the three days to promote our nude, erotic fitness dvd and apparel.

You will be wearing our short tank top, booty shorts or mini skirt. No nudity required.

Ideally a curvy girl who can fill a tank top is preferred. You Must be able to speak French and English. You will be paid $250 for the event plus commission on sales. Food is also covered.

Please email full face/body pics with measurements for more details.

Location: Place Bonaventure
Compensation: $250 + commission + food
This is a contract job.

I am so all over this: it's all sex and erotic work outs. Heck, I already wrote an article under a male pen name, Ben Hawk, for Askmen.com about Slavercise (Yes, domination, humiliation AND exercise mixed!), so this is right up my alley. Plus, I can fill out a tank top... with PERSONALITY [puppies]!

Maybe some of you are shocked, specifically the ones who ask to pay me for sexual services, oily massages, and hand-in-the-pants. I say: selling sex on DVD is a different affair than selling sex I have to be present for.

Go forth, dear client, enjoy ye visual stimuli and workout... without me! Sniff!


Stretch 2-3 and think of England,


Aimeevercise

Frisky Business

My article is live on The Frisky!

My psychological well-being is priceless!

IN OTHER JOBS:

I spoke with a film and television producer I know, named Michael Solomon and he is likely hiring me as a casting assistant for a short film in the new year. The advanced buzz I can tell you is that they are looking for girls aged 6-9 for a principal role. The role is very emotionally truthful and introspective, so they are seeking a young actress who can be natural, vulnerable and emotional. The film sounds amazing... more details soon.

I still haven't booked a holiday job yet, and my festive modeling gig fell through. Thems the breaks!

YES Montreal's job tree was a mild disappointment. The jobs listed were longer term and principally retail. I am in no way opposed to retail (I love shopping!), but I'm vacationing in tropical Calgary next week and don't have the time before Christmas.

All I need is two more jobs before December 25, my friends! I'll make custom decorations and Express Post them if I have to! I also have tons of vintage in my closet if you need holiday dressing. Commission me for something... there is still time!

aimee dot davison at gmail dot com!

LURID OFFERS DISSECTED PUBLICLY!

I would make a phallic Christmas tree, though,


Aimee :D

On Business and Pleasure

Attraction plays a part in many business deals. You have to be drawn to a product or service to want to purchase it, chemistry has to be sensed between you and your future employer in order to be hired for a job, and acquiring clients depends on building friendly relationships. People part with money only when they think they are gaining something in return; cognitively, transactions are enabled by a positive emotional response to a product, person or service. It's marketing 101, really: create a human bond and you are more likely to sell a product.

In my business, the entertainment industry, being attractive, charming and getting along well with others is a necessary part of the job. If you can't schmooze and entertain the right people, you are unlikely to be a very successful model or actor. You have to genuinely like interacting and socializing with a large number of people if you are going to succeed in the entertainment business. I love people, so usually this is a breeze for me.

However, it irks me to no end when a client has something else in mind or steps over the line interpersonally. I know it's human nature to seek out that which brings you pleasure and do as much as you can to bring it closer to you, but I have found that some jobs are not work taking, because of the hidden agendas of some employers. Yes, this includes a few of my One Hundred Jobs offers.

This "bait and switch" can play out in many ways: the personal assistant job that is really an audition to be a girlfriend, the creepy modeling gig where the photographer initially wants to shoot "fashion" only to coax you into shooting nudes (for his private collection), the fruitless business luncheon that is really a date (usually a vacay from wifey). For a young woman wanting to be hired for her services and not her ASSets (unless it is a legitimate modeling gig or burlesque), the mixture of overt business and hidden pleasure seeking is a frustrating and common experience.

I have been guilty of mixing business and pleasure when I have found coworkers attractive, or gone accidentally overboard in the flirting department while on the job, but I have never hired someone just so I could potentially gain a chance to sleep with them, by underhanded means. Maybe this is more of a feminine trait, as sexual intimacy does not have the same premium in my psyche as it does for many men.

Have you ever received a job offer that was really an invitation to slip in between the sheets? If you are an attractive women, I am willing to bet $100 that the answer is an unequivocal, "Yes."

Off to an audition as a chaste30something mother (lol),


Aimee.

Holiday Hoopla

My newest jorb posting on Craigslist:

Hello!

I'm Aimee from One Hundred Jobs (onehundredjobs.blogspot.com and onehundredjobs.ca/ onehundredjobs on Twitter) and I'm looking for a $100 holiday gig or two. I'd like to have completed 25 of my 100 jobs by Christmas!

If you need anything done: Christmas shopping, lights, tree decorating, wreath making, tinsel dangling, present wrapping, stringing bits of popcorn, snow removal, whatever, please send me an e-mail and hire me for 100 jobs.

JE SUIS BILINGUE!

Merry Christmaskah!

Aimee.

And OF COURSE the only e-mail offer that I generate from my toil is:

male model to me
show details 2:52 PM (19 hours ago)

Images are not displayed.

Display images below - Always display images from nudedudemalemodel@hotmail.com

Would you give a man a massage?

Dear Male Model,

Great question. OF COURSE I'll give a man a massage. If my brother hurts his back, my son hurts his wee arm, or if my boyfriend wants a tactile tussle, I will gladly doll out the soothing touch.

And I will ALSO give male models massages, especially if they are featured on cheesy romance covers and covered in Vaseline.

However, if you are asking if I will give you, Mr. Nude Model Masculin some touching for money, I say, how well did that turn out for Tiger Woods?

Spas Montreal has great listings for professional massages for less than $100. Look! I'm saving you some holiday money! You can buy more presents for your wife!

You should get a facial too!

Aimee.

* * *

I MAY have another job booked for the weekend. A photographer named Geoffrey may shoot me wearing some holiday fare. I met him while volunteer modeling at an event for the Montreal S.W.A.P. Team, a non-profit clothing trade and share organization founded by Aleece Germano and Nicole Picard. The hold a lot of events during Montreal's Piknic Electronik.

Geoffrey snapped this quick pic at the party:



IN OTHER JOBS:

I'm heading off to YES Montreal today to apply for some of the holiday jobs they have listed on their Christmas job tree:

Money Does Grow on Trees this Holiday Season at YES!

Are you looking for some extra cash this holiday season?

Are you looking for a quick, easy and free way to find temporary work during the holiday season?

YES has the solution!

YES' Holiday Job Tree is decorated with various jobs, ranging from retail, to customer service and administrative. YES has done all of the legwork, all you need to do is visit the YES Centre (666 Sherbrooke Street West, 7th floor) and browse through the job postings decorating our holiday tree. Once here, you can also take advantage of the free use of resources, workshops and counselling services to help you secure these jobs.

The YES centre is open Monday through Friday from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM.

I love YES... I've gotten great career advice from their counsellors (legal, start-up and resumé writing), and for the small fee to open a file, you also have access to great low-priced professional workshops and entrepreneurial grants.

Dashing through the snow, for JOB 25!!!


Aimee.

E-way for Aimee!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like with most things in life, when I had given up all hope, I sold two more items on the E-nay: A lovely maxi dress to a previous client (Thank you so much, Jared) and THE DARN HOOKER / THIGH-HIGH BOOTS!

The address of the boot buyer is in Finland. Hopefully shipping doesn't cause any problems. Either shipments arrive straight away in Europe, or they take weeks.

Legs crossed!


IN OTHER JOBS:

I'm going to Cowgary, Alberta over the holidays to visit my family, so I put out a travel notice on Model Mayhem HERE and I'm just about to post on Calgary Craigslist, which I remarked last night that it is so dead that it's sad.

That's why I feel more at home in Montreal: our artistic community is alive, active and accessible. Calgary is a beautiful, sophisticated, expensive city with attractive suburbs, but the culture is very Anglo-Saxon and somewhat limited. With the rent being so high in Cowtown, very few people can afford to be starving artists.

I can name for you almost all the legit theatre companies and annual festivals taking place in Cowtown. I would never be able to do the same for Montreal, which can be annoying when you hear one festival advertised after another, but it's proof of the abundance of art and cultural events in Quebec.

PLEASE prove me wrong if I'm just being an anglo-franco Queerbec biatch. LOL. Or hire me. :D

I really need to find a festive job, stat. Any suggestions?


Aimee

OH COME ON!

*&^&*(!@#@$%!%^!$!!!!!!!!

MY BOOTS, THE SHIRT AND A DRESS DID NOT SELL AGAIN ON E-BAY!

I hate you E-bay!

So time consuming for nothing! You play with my hopes and dreams and then you leave me despondent, with too much crap in my closet! I am not a warehouse and I hate holding merch!

*grumble*

I might go shockingly bargain basement and relist everything at $10. And it probably STILL will not sell. Or maybe I could make a social and artistic statement like this guy:


Trillion $ Painting (Montreal)
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Date: 2009-12-11, 11:51PM EST
Reply to: comm-jtn5k-1506357373@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Hey,

I just heard from a friend that a Montreal artist is selling a painting for One Trillion dollars - the most expensive painting on the planet as far as I know. Does anybody know anything about this brave man and his painting?

I'm curious and I wish to learn more about it. Please email me if you know anything about it.

Thanks.

Tom

* * *

I know what the artist of the piece getting at: how does one determine the value of a work of art? What makes something worth an amount, especially a high price? The answer in the art world is that piece is worth whatever someone (usually critics, collectors and venture capitalists) esteems it to be. There is no tangible way of determining the value of a work, other than demand and valuation games (though some could argue rarity and cultural contribution also plays a factor). At high levels, the art market is a hell of a lot like the stock market, where imaginary economies abound.

What makes employers want to pay me $100 to accomplish a task? I've oft wondered.


A: Because I'm priceless, really. AND I GET S*** DONE, PEEPS!


Like a $10 listing for Moet,


Aimee

E-bay the Night Away

Finally, FINALLY, I am beginning to fill up my E-bay store so I can log that sucker as a job before Christmas. I have listed the silly Eskimo coat for the 4th time (lol) and it has 2 watchers. The boots are also up again, as well as some gorgeous dress/overcoat combos and a small "You Are Leaving The American Sector" multilingual in English, Russian, French and German t-shirt.

Does this dress make me look creepy?

I have such a love/hate relationship with E-bay, because it does allow independent, alternative sellers a chance to hawk their wares, but it is so bloody TIME CONSUMING for a relatively small profit margin! Plus, they always try to ding you by offering additional unnecessary add-ons like listing in bold, or adding more photos and frilly graphics. The fees are also not slapped on until after you've created your listing, so as an inexperienced seller, you frequently have to go back and modify your listing option by option, to find out where you were overcharged.

I think more people would list on E-bay if they allowed free listings and took a straight percentage of the selling price. And don't get me started on Paypal... I can't believe it is legal for them to hold any balances under $15.00 in your account and not allow you to withdraw. It's YOUR MONEY! And their credit card payment and currency conversion fees are outrageous, but they know they are an e-bay monopoly and they are a necessary broker in online money transfers, so I suffer silently, open my wallet and take the Paypal P up the A-bay.


IN OTHER JOBS:

I applied to this Craigslist posting the other day but haven't gotten a response:

Need Female to accompany me in paid radio contest (Montreal)

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Date: 2009-12-06, 6:57PM EST
Reply to: Howiehoward@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I am entering a contest on the Howard Stern Show. Part of the contest
is I have to beat someone in a music trivia contest. One of the
conditions of the contest, is I am paid for winning, and paid less for
losing, so either way there is money involved. I can offer $1500.00
U.S if I win, and $350.00 U.S. if I lose. In order to enter the
contest I need to show them a picture of who I would bring to the
studio if they accept me as a contestant, so I need a picture to send
the producers, they need to be appealing to the producers because it
will be on television as well as radio. I would say the age range
should be 25 -35 approximately. If you are a model, or you have any
other cause, this is a great opportunity for great exposure. The show
has 8 million listeners, and about 3 million viewers.


•Location: Montreal
•Compensation: $1500.00 U.S. is the most you can make and $350.00 is
the least, for only about 1 hours work

I figure I am attractive, interesting and edgy enough to entertain Stern and his posse. I may lack the boobage, but I think I make up for it in the brainage and the funnyage. Yeaaaaahhhhh.

This post also inspired me, though in a less permanent way:

Tattoo your business logo on my body
Date: 2009-12-08, 11:23AM

I am an attractive female with a vibrate social life.
If you are interested in reaching a wide audience and creating a buzz this is a great way to do it!


Location: Montreal
Compensation: 4000 + cost of tattoo
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


This woman is smart, in a way. I'll have to do around 40 jobs to make the same amount, with considerably more effort AND pain. But I won't have Pepsi tramp stamp on my boobage or a Joe Louis logo on my ass.

I'd love to try to wear a branded tee or a temporary tattoo logo for a week for a company. I pitched the idea to a visionary marketer I know, and we'll see if she can get me my first brand name sponsor. That T's gonna be so dirty by the end of the week.

What logo would you be willing to tattoo on your hiney for 4 Gs?

I'm partial to the infinity symbol, so...







Pardon me while I go hallucinate,


Ainfinity

Snow Day Elfin Psychiatry

Get ready for the most riveting, challenging, gut-wrenching job yet: cleaning bathroom tiles for my Gran as the first part of my job for her. We also discussed when she worked at the Allen Memorial Psychiatric Institute in 1949 and how the paranoid patients were affected by the advent of television:



It's Snowing like Kwazy today and I am inspired by the snow to seek out a holiday-flavored job. I saw a posting looking for Santa's Elves and goshdarnit, I'd love to be one. Can't you just see me in a cute little pointy green hat and black buckled shoes? Charming!


No.


Yes.

Aymar? Where are you? I need a favor...

LOL!


Ho ho ho,


Aimee