Ah, private parts.
The conference I wound up working for through CMT was a UROLOGY CONFERENCE. So I spent all day surrounded by pee-pee pictures and jokes.
(check out the glowing rays coming from the blue dude's crotch)
When I went by the Cialis booth, one of the reps asked me if I needed a sample of Cialis.
I said, "No, actually, I need something that has the OPPOSITE effect on men."
The sales rep said, "It's called Mace."
That was good one. Dude, that's like 50 points, at least.
Another fun moment: the Penis Pump guys from Georgia were super funny. I had a book in front of me that I did not know at the start of the day had very graphic images of very old, erectionally challenged, genitalia and the PP guys kept trying to force me to look at the images. I was squealing, shrieking and giggling, because we all know how much I love strange peniis!
They also wanted to invite me to their booth for a showing of their Penis Pump video on a giant screen. It was essentially a video of a man pumpin' himself with his EREC-TECH. NO THANKS NO PENIZZ 4 ME, K BAI!
Because of my new friends, I am now the proud owner of a non-novelty penis keychain AND an unopened penis pump video. I also have access to purchase, for $585, a penis lengthening brace that grows yer dong 1.8 cm in 6 months and 0.8 cm in girth... whoo wee! Who needs spam when you got the PP men?
And the clincher of today's anecdotes, from an anonymous urologist, which reminded me of my long lost friend Shithead,
EROS-LOGIST: "So what do YOU offer in terms of solutions for erectile dysfunction?"
Me: "Unfortunately, I can offer you nothing PERSONALLY."
EROS-LOGIST: "What a shame."
Tonight I dream of weiners!!!!!