Aimee's One Hundred Jobs Resumé

 

Job 30: Fashion Model for a student designer

Principal Tasks:

- Doing own hair and make-up

- Arriving mostly on time

- Modeling three pieces for a student designer's portfolio

 

Job 29: Networking for Gynad.com

Principal Tasks:

- Networking with members of the Montreal Board of Trade

- Promoting Pierre's "Human Billboard" service

- Finding new sales leads and collecting business cards

 

Job 28: Getting 1000 Facebook Fan Page followers (Pending)

Principal Tasks:

- Convincing 1000 of my friends, fans and followers to joing my Facebook fan page!

- Leveraging myself with myself, as Cheryl put it.

 

Job 27: Photoshopping George (the Spanker)'s Spank

Principal Tasks:

- Photoshopping two artistic nude photos taken by George

- Discovering spank marks on the models

- Using the healing brush to unspank George's spank

 

Job 26: Personal Project Manager for Darren S.

Principal Tasks:

- Evaluating ideas for new projects and products

- Completing "Design Your Best Year Ever" and managing client's progress

- Ensuring the devlopment of sound business plans, marketing strategies and project implementation

 

Job 25: Art model for Stephen Frew

Principal Tasks:

- Assembling an appropriate casual wardrobe for the shoot

- Grooming myself in a natural and beaaautiful way

- Modeling by the Christmas tree with for an angelic artist

 

Job 24: Casting assistant for Band With Pictures

 Principal Tasks:

- Assembling a list of school, daycares and appropriate drama organization to source girls aged 4-7

- Contacting appropriate organizations via telephone and e-mail to notify of casting

- Hiring volunteer production assitants for the audition day

 

Job 23: Seller on E-bay

Principal Tasks: 

- Communicating with potential buyers and providing quality shipping and customer service

- Taking two months to sell $100 worth of vintage merchandise on E-bay, thus making $1/hour

- Being taunted and tortured by watchers and foiled sales, but elated and excited by actual sales

 

Job 22: Personal Essayist for TheFrisky.com

Principal Tasks: 

- Writing a 750 word article about my experiences with 100 jobs, thus far

- Blogging my brains out while entertaining my readers and pleasing my awesome new editor

- Being a frisky female

 

Job 21: Treasure Hunt Designer for LeisureRules.ca (Pending)

Principal Tasks: 

- Designing a custom treasure hunt taking place in downtown Toronto

- Racking my brain, coming up with interesting locations, clues, and red herrings 

- Through my mad genius, leading the chosen one to a reward of $100

 

Job 20: Personal Vintage Shopper for Alexander and Monica

Principal Tasks: 

- Researching men and women's vintage fashions of the 1920s

- Shopping at various thrift stores to assemble 1920s costumes

- Assesment of fit and attractiveness on Alex and Monica's bod-ehs

 

Job 19:  Fashion Shoot with a new photographer named Rob 

 Principal Tasks: 

- Creation of an editorial photo shoot to improve photographer's portfolio

- Hiring a make-up artist (Cynthia of QT Make-up) and stylist (Michele Jean-Jacques)

- Modeling like a mother f*

 

Job 18:  Promotional Rep for Speedminton

Principal Tasks: 

- Demonstrating Speedminton to teachers at the Quebec Teacher's Association conferenc

- Selling Speedminton sets on-site and processing transactions

- Shooting birdies at nearby booths

- Having a BLAST playing the game against multiple people!

 

Job 17:  Web dev. and online promotion of hottie Matt Aymar (Pending)

Principal Tasks: 

- Registration of domain MattAymar.com; sign-up of MattAymar Twitter account

- Web and product development for MattAymar.com

- Coordination of marketing plan and social media marketing 

Job 16:  Cleaning and Painting a basement floor for Grandma (50% done)

 

Job 15:  Programming for a 30 year-old retiree named Brock (Pending)

 

Job 14:  Superhero Cosplay Photoshoot with Ant Farm Prod (Pending)

 

Job 13:  Private Photoshop lessons for Charles Vinh

Principal Tasks: 

- Teaching advanced functions of Photoshop (paths, pen tool, masking, levels, filters)

- Modifying an exisiting drawing to illustrate Photoshop functions

- Creating Deviantart and Model Mayhem accounts for the artist

 

Job 12:  Special Project for Divine.ca (Pending)

 

Job 11:  Booty Shaking Video for StyleShark.com

Principal Tasks: 

- Choreographing a booty shaking burlesque routine

- Creating a two minute booty shaking video

- Being vereh vereh Seksei

 

Job 10:  In-store Promo Sign-Up Rep for NuMuBu.com

Principal Tasks: 

- Signing up musicians in-store for NuMuBu.com accounts

- Handing out bookmarks with info about the networking and professional benefits of the site

- Flirting with cute boys at the record store

 

CRAP JOB #1 - Job 9:  Mascot during Campus Chase for InField Marketing:

Principal Tasks: 

- Assisting with set-up of the Campus Chase event

- Suffering as a BlackBerry Mascot for Campus Chase in the pouring rain

- Positively interacting with the public for photos and handshakes despite suffocating in a broken plastic box

 

Job 8:  Studio Lighting Test Model for Eddy (Pending)

Principal Tasks:

- Posing for a photographer as he tests his camera under various lighting set-ups and scenarios

 

Job 7: Cheesecake Delivery Person for Jason S.

 Principal Tasks:

- Purchasing cake carry-all and insulating pack for proper delivery

- Carefully picking up cheesecake from Calories restaurant (4114 Sainte Catherine Ouest)  

- Salivating during a 5 hour train ride

- Delivery of Mango cheesecake from Montreal to Union Station in Toronto, Ontario

 

Job 6: Convention Model at Urology Conference for CMTagency.com

Principal Tasks:

- Handing out invitations for a special, accredited breakfast lecture on soft glans syndrome

- Pre-registration of attendees and maintenance of a list

- Welcoming doctors to the conference

 

Job 5: Transcriber and Marketing Analyst for Akoha.com

Principal Tasks:

- Typing out verbatim (transcribing) participant market research interviews

- Analysis of participant information

- Creation of key data points and trends of average Akoha users

 

Job 4: Market Research Interview Participant for Akoha.com

Principal Tasks:

- Responding to personal questions about my lifestyle

- Reporting on internet habits and current usage of online social networks

- Offering suggestions for the future developments of Akoha.com

 

Job 3: Carpet Remover for an artist named Steven

Principal Tasks:

- Cutting and removal of old carpet, foam padding, carpet nails and baseboards

- Careful moving of home furnishings and electronics

- Physical transport of discarded materials to curbside

 

Job 2: Human Billboard (a.k.a Unitard Model) for Gynad.com

Principal Tasks:

- Walking around downtown Montreal in a lycra unitard to promote Gynad.com

- Handing out business cards and networking with passers-by

- Being a positive Brand Ambassador for Gynad.com

 

Job 1:  Director of Photography and Interviewer for Mile End Media

Principal Tasks: 

- Being interviewed for Blog 60 on Socialmediamontreal.com

- Filming Brent interviewing his client, Peter Schliesser of Athlete's International

- Interviewing Peter Schliesser about his company

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